Jockey Hill 12/09/2009
Blue Mountain 12/02/2009
Author Nic:
Wa’s up my Brothas and Sistas?
Half the Bazzaro team was back in action last night. James “Jimmy” Bazzano and all the hoopla that comes along with him…hideous beat up ghetto van, sickly orange jacket without an ounce of water-proofing left in the material, serious over use of the F-bomb and overall mediocre riding performance. Yes Jimmy was happy, Jimmy loves getting new lights for everyone for a price and Jimmy loves asking 100 times how much they like it and what they paid. Too bad…Jimmy won’t shut up!
Alright folks, normally these recaps are laced with inside jokes of the night gone past and leaves the participants gasping for air. Non-riders on the other hand are left to decipher the demented account of some foolish action. So having come in to work today to just drop off the GF at this stupid hour and Lowes not open for another hour, I’ll scribe for you the account of events in real time or layman’s terms. For the Plumber and Donovan, a layman is not sexually related…means no professional or firsthand knowledge of a subject. So you can stop giggling; he said “layman”.
In light of how a rumor starts or a nickname sticks like a booger flicked out the window into your side view mirror, Alta being a bit too excited about riding in the rain…again, mistakenly called James, Jimmy. Geis and myself having put Jerry Seinfeld up there with Gandhi and the Dali Lama recalled the episode about Jimmy and his third person exploits. Well that was it from there, Jimmy quotes ensued for the rest of the night and I must say Jimmy took it well.
Me, Alta, Geis and Jimmy showed early for a pre-ride giggle-fest and leisurely got the bikes and our persons dressed for the great allure of Blue Mountain. My good influential friend Geis, never to be out done, unwittingly overheard a discussion about this new light that Jimmy was peddling a few rides back. Let me tell you, if something is remotely good for some, it’s good for Geis and he wants in. Went somewhat like this…”Hey, wha, what are you selling?” Lights for $280, they’re aweso…”Get me one”. They run for like 5 hou…”Get me one, gotta have it, get it”. So last night he got it. Offered Jimmy 1500 pieces of Bazooka Bubblegum but sadly Jimmy wanted cash, so Geis paid him with a check…and made it out to Jimmy?? Seemingly VERY happy and fusing with all the accessories, Geis says, “Hey, what did I buy?” “This isn’t light in motion”. “Hey Jimmy!” The other thing about this friend of ours… adjustments and features of ANY kind other than on/off or up/down are COMPLETELY wasted on the Geisman. So when Jimmy insisted on showing him the 17 different light levels and strobes, Geis broke down weeping, “Just show me ‘sob, sob’ how to turn it ON” “Why, why did you not get me the light in motion?”
Sadly last night we had to endure without my good overweight riding buddy, Down Hill Bill. Apparently he has been shamed into hermit-dom by Jimmy out-drinking him in the Dominican Republic. Of course he had a slew of other excuses to mask the obvious but no matter the persuasion, shaving his back hair and sucking on a leftover turkey leg prevailed. On the other hand, the Roadie ran out of excuses and decided to show up last night. Alas this simpleton is still somewhat Tecno-deficient despite the dashboard of James Bond memorabilia. The new night rider mount has finally compensated for the overweight lamp with a new design. Poor Roadie had it backwards, looking like the San Francisco chicken. Thankfully he can still put the helmet on correctly but we’ll have to watch him. BTW Mr. Webb, we’re not taking too kindly to your little closet reading comments you’re whispering in our protégé’s ear. Rest assured, we will convert this poor Stewart –riding soul and there’s nothing you or your spandex can do about it.
The Plumber, having ruined his “perfect attendance” last week from a yeast infection, joined us at the new riding time of 6:30. Oh the audacity of this dude to show surprise at how late he actually was. Me seems to remember a while back (in the “Angry Era”) when the comment of, “If you’re going to be that late, you should just go home!” came out of the exalted one. Sir Dab-a-lot as we’re starting to call him is now, well, seemingly has to reach out and touch everything with his free foot. Dude might do well in flats. The consensus is that there’s a bit of friction between adjacent riders that somehow sucks the mojo out of the following rider. One can’t explain it, but following the plumber apparently causes much unrest and exasperated bantering.
Poor Geis experienced some minor mechanical issues, but thankfully kept the bike on the ground and just resorted to some curse words and the occasional yell. After suffering a third chain suck behind the cassette, Jimmy grabbed a stick. In a succession of gasps and horror, CB had to wrench it from his fingers and proceeded to beat him with it, crying, “You are not a mechanic, no matter what you think and I will not let you destroy my friends ride just so you can go home!” Much to the amazement of the crowd, the culprit was a broken spoke. For a guy that rides 18 pounds of air pressure and doesn’t ever leave the ground, this was somewhat baffling. Nevertheless, we were soon off and riding in the pouring rain down Upper SIS and Geis asking, “where’s Brother trail?”
Best trail of the night: the monster. This greasy toboggan run was too good to be true. Double wheel slides and “oh,shits” were the prevalent riding style along with a casual conversation among the 8 riders strewn about the switchbacks. Not quite the Kendra, Annemarie chipmunk chatter but just as comical considering a biff was inevitable. Apparently Jimmy doesn’t like lower monster (mediocre skills and inadequate ego) and proceeded to lead from the back of the pack.
A big thanks goes out to the Greek, who once again was a definite and bailed at the last minute. Unless there have been any sightings that I’m unaware, I don’t believe the kid can ride anymore. Oh sure he talks a good yarn, but all I’ve seen was a miserable alternate route up our beloved Beacon and the comment of how much he hated it. Seems he has joined forces with Calves.
New developments: I’m building a backyard playground. Mr. No Imagination is copying everything and will soon be the proud new owner of his very own telephone pole thanks to Big Ring. I am buying a downhill bike prior to ever setting pedal to a real downhill (keep it to a dull roar Gardner, it was inevitable) and not to be out done, Geis is now buying a new bike although doesn’t know what it is yet. Val, CB’s Wife, AKA Closet Reader and Alta decided to go hiking the other day? Yes hiking. We are all now convinced we have the newest pair of lesbians amongst us and no one prouder than Manny and I. The pigs that we are and the sportsmanship of Alta allowed us to revel in this fantasy for quite some time.
Funniest comment this side of, “The hardest Trails in the Northeast”. Jimmy says, “I’m the 6th fastest person.” CB, confused asked him if he thought that was 6th in the world or within the Bombers. Then asked if any of the Bomber women were one of those 6. Ashamed at the pop-off and ensuing verbal beating, he recanted and was resolved to just admit he sucks.
Come one come all, we’re going to have our Bomber Christmas bar scene on Saturday, January 2 at Goodfellas in Hopewell. Spouses welcome. Hopefully the Beautician can muster up another classic comment like, “Because there’s so many people in here?” and shame another doe-eyed admirer into hiding.
Next ride: Jockey Hill…in the rain
Missed ya last night Ant, ya old man.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=432952
Nic
Stewart 11/25/2009
Author Geis:
On a cold and rainy night, only two of the Beacon Bombers faithful were present for roll call, Frankie Frank and Geisman AKA “Every Wednesday”. Unfortunately Ralph got a case of the sandie coochies which caused him to be a no show. I recommend vagisil to take care of that issue. We did have a special guest rider, Curt from the Dark Horse Gang. I labeled him , Angry Rider! He was overdressed and trailing from the back with an occasional yell of frustration. None the less we needed the comic relief without having OTRCB getting in our way, Ralph complaining about the loop, and Nic upset for riding in Stewart.
The Ride started at the Ball Fields on Berea in fear that we would have been ticketed from the police for poaching the Stewart Buffer Zone during Hunting Season which I find it ironic since it is illegal to hunt in dark in the first place. However I will leave that debate for another time. Once we navigated to the entrance of Stewart via Barron Rd, we quickly started the loop by entering the normal route on the left. Frank not accustomed to riding in Stewart without being lost or bushwhacking with Ralph, commented how nice the ride flowed as I treated both Curt and Frank on an awesome 15 mile figure 8 loop if I say so myself (which I did). During the first portion of the ride, I seemed to have lost my mojo and was unable to make some of the of hill climbs. Not having Woody changed the way I normally ride but not to worry as I warmed up I seemed to find my long lost Mojo and I was good as new. At one moment of my early debacle, Frank called me Manny as I got in his way on an uphill climb. All in all we rode for 2.5 hours, Frank rode very strong on his nice new Red Flame and Curt was just happy to out and ridinig
So as you all feast on this most festive day remember that Frank and I kept the streak alive by preserving the Beacon Bomber’s reputation with keeping to our weekly Wednesday Ride. I wish you all very Happy Thanksgiving and look forward to next week, just let me know where.
Geisman out!
Stewart
11/18/2009Author Nic:
Mount Beacon
11/11/2009Author Nic:
Afternoon Bombers,
Finally after all the banter about how great the new Beacon ride is, I was able to partake in the BB parade. All was good and a fair amount of fun was had caroling “ A climbing we will go, a climbing we will go”…very festive! The delayed start is really starting to take hold as the Canadian may just be the slowest of the slow when it comes to getting ready to ride. Unfortunately I am sad to report that this same Canadian, was the cancer that brought back the dread in our good friend Gardner. After a seemingly bright future of positive optimism, and breaking free from the bottom, Canada Man killed the glimmer of light in relative milliseconds with comments not worth repeating. It may have had something to do with a freak pogo stick accident but someone’s got to take the blame. Grumpy doesn’t suit you Gardner so let’s turn the frown upside down…see you next week at Stewart?
So back to the climb or swim I should say. Leaves, leaves everywhere made for a challenging climb to say the least. Having heard on more than one occasion from the gaga club, “wasn’t this slippery or covered 3 weeks ago”, I didn’t really know what to make of it. One thing though, my good friend Kris said the trail exits right back at the parking lot when we’re done so at least we wouldn’t have to do the road ride back to the cars…wrong. Big, big lier. There were many grunts and expletives to go around, including Antwon who I believe said it was F****** ridiculous! Franky was so fed up he didn’t even ride Beacon in favor of Stewart the Puss. The plumber, petrified of ruining his perfect attendance record, diverted to the mother land at the last minute.
The banker, who’s not reading this in real time, had a horrible night. Having thrown his bike several times and sobbing at nearly every log crossing it was a truly pitiful site. On a serious note, if everyone could just give him a few words of encouragement, it may help him get over the hurdles of sucking at the sport he loves. Ryan.fohl@TDBANKNORTH.com. You’ll likely get the out of office response but rest assured, he’s reading from the blackberry so coax him off the bridge, what day a say?
So Ralph was vetoed in his bid to ride the service road back to the parking lot as we opted for Broken Bomber and other nice single track descents. This was strongly advocated by DHB who almost had a heart attack. BTW Bill, you da man for not running over your friend. Kudos dude! The Canadian once again gave the kiss of death to DHBs Panaracer with a shotgun blast tube exiting tire demonstration. Almost too comical to put into words but the tears of fed-upness was almost too much to bear. The ride down was worth the up! Great job with the trail Gardner. Nice lead on Cottage Ant.
The pizza festival was awesome…meat madness, Hawaiian and CBR…woohoo.
Add at will, there were more funny things that others could expand on exponentially.
Next week is Stewart because the Plumber is gay and Franky can’t ride anything with hills on his new ride. The Banker will likely be at another “Banquet” for fear of another pitiful show of skill.
See ya
Nic
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=415407
Ninham
11/04/2009Author Nic:
Morning Bombers sorry for the delay,
Ninham. This place is just awesome, no matter the conditions and thankfully conditions were great. Whodathunk, a carpet of leaves that had grip. Colder temps, lots of darkness and a new official start time of 6:20 was the reality of winter setting in. Starting out the night was the odd occurrence of a “Grumpy” Gardner. No ear to ear, squinted smile was to be had by our broken bomber as the weight of misfortune was engulfing his soul. Unfortunately more misery was to be had by our friend but given the magnitude of his hardships the comedy in the incidents couldn’t even be enjoyed. However the BB crew including Mr. Gardner will look back on this season and laugh. Heading out of the parking lot without your friendly Canadian, the Plumber took over the obnoxious duties of self-adoration. Happy to finally take a break from his La La club duties, he shared a brief run in the front with Antwon. Comically roaming about the country side like bloodhounds with a sinus infection, the trail was elusive to say the least. Having to cope with brief symptoms of a coronary, I was adamant on staying on the trail to know precisely where we were at all times to ensure I could bail at any moment. Contrary to the ego degradation I was at war with in my mind, I stuck it out for what resulted in one of the funnest rides of the year. The Mutant wasn’t having any of it. After a short while struggling in the leaves, his super-amazing, state of the art light ceased to cooperate. DHB the all too accommodating friend of friends proclaimed his new role of lead dog to the parking lot for a quick repair. Brother James, realizing this ride might be outside the realm of his ability, tried to see if he could lick his front wheel while attempting a wheelie drop. In my opinion, a great Wile E. Coyote impression! Surprisingly unscathed, he heroically tacoed his wheel to the cheerful tune of, “wait up guys, I’m coming with ya”. A quick 3 minute repair on the light, DHB and Gardner were ready to go…Racer X however was whimpering about his Mexican wheel. Disgusted, Gardner yanked it off the fork, tossed it on the ground and beat it into submission. Without further excuses, Racer X was compelled to finish the ride.
So “Every Wednesday”, having thought it was a leap year, was resolved to work late at his government job and skip the ride. Egad man what were ya thinkin??? A small talk later and the Geisman was in! Borrowing a light from Alta that was on a weak charge was better than the alternative of using his own that was not charged. Yup, it ran out of juice. Nocturnal navigation is not one of my friends better skill sets. Having proved just how much penalty for failure lies in relying on CB to provide light through a rock garden has its drawbacks. So he agreed to accept a light and keep the body good as we were off to the fun exit.
Just prior to this debacle, our friends were back for a triumphant return…well…most of them. Seems Black Cloud made it back to the precise spot where his light said No before, and pulled a repeat of its disobedience once again. Foaming at the mouth and having to kick Racer X away from employing his amazing mechanical skill, Garnder trudged on in repugnance. We were beginning to wonder if he had some unrepentant Karma lying around as the light issue didn’t seem to satisfy payment. After waiting 2 weeks for a derailleur hanger, it mysteriously snapped in half to the befuddled shock of now, a VERY unhappy broken bomber. Rock bottom has been reached! After a brief flight, his ride landed safely and thankfully his debt was apparently repaid as no new breakages were noted and the uptrend was underway.
Ant brought the tunes again much to the approval of all but one and makes up for the change in ride time. Franky, Frank came out with the brand new shiny red Cannondale. CB is once again closing out the season on a good note, however, it WAS really dry in Ninham this week. Good luck at Beacon next week.
FYI: All are encouraged to participate in the newest charity www.everyonelovesryan.org. It’s a total profit organization and has a fairly compelling tear jerker of a story. Here’s an exerpt: “Once on top of the world and now down in the dumps, Ryanese Gardneress is the newest member of badluckess maximus. Arm got broke and wouldn’t heal, race season over for the man of steel. Teaching tree herding and forest decay, missing rides for lousy pay. Diablo fun and stolen bike, whoa is me as I’m left to hike. All is not lost of building a ride, but so little cash left inside. 6 more Franklins is all it will take, but then there’s California at stake. Ruing the banshee on Becky’s arm, a few more races what’s the harm? Life’s not fair and I’m so sad, when did everything get so bad? Friends are great when things turn to ash, please dig deep and send me cash.”
See everyone next week, add comments at will.
Nic
Blue Mountain
10/28/2009Author Nic:
909
10/21/2009Author Nic:
Morning BBs,
Back from the dead and feelin good! Finally, after what seemed to be eternity I made it to 909 for the traditional pre-race spin. After being out for a while and feeling like the new guy, I asked the simple question, “Who initiated this ride and who’s leading?”…nothing but blank stares and a few paces backward from the crowd. “It was a consensus” reverberated briefly but with this group that is just Bulls**t! Luckily Cry Baby was brave enough to puff out his chest, step up to the plate and nominate Ralph…what a guy!
So like the consensus issue, Bombers just can’t start a ride on time and no the culprit was not 90% this time (much to Pro-Rider’s relief). It was the over-excited half of the Bazzaro Brothers who valiantly went out on a pre-ride with Ant only to come back walking out of the woods sobbing about a flat tire. Of course the master mechanic was ill-prepared as usual and lacked all of the necessary components to change a tire in a mere 23 minutes. DHB, fed up as usual with the loud super mechanic, bounced a tube off his dome and handed him a shock pump. Apparently the weight of having a dual-rotation option for his velociraptor was a bit too much brain strain for the Racer-X. After some cursing and meditation he put it on backwards and held up the group long enough to be the butt end of all the late jokes.
Leading the ride with new found stardom, the la la club chairman was on a mission to laugh in the face of treacherous roots, Manny-killer log crossings and a thick carpet of leaves. Successful for the most part and taking a page out of the Canadian’s book, we were able to pinpoint his location the entire night. Dropping hints on a regular basis that he was going to take it easy and let someone else lead made it all the more comical that we were reserved to keep him out of his comfort zone until the end. So far we are 3 and 0 for exiting on a downhill to the cars and no longer feel the dismay of never coming out of 909. Good job Plumber Boy, another successful venture without that PoS 29er.
So my friend Manny was on top of his game at the parking lot! 3 minutes in and feeling a bit on top of the world, he made the claim of being at one with his bike and ready to rip. That of course was until he saw the drop that resulted in shaving the skin off his neck on our last 909 ride. After looking at the massive 9-inch drop he was remarkably relieved that the “Huge” obstacle could have taken down the best of riders and not because of his mediocre riding skills. Ya see folks, my friend Manny is a “Desert Rider”. These Wednesday rides are practices through the season to have the best 3 days of riding in Utah and for this we have to give him his due. What would Santa Cruz think if they saw all the air time his bike gets without a rider??? So last night was no different and since we ride “the hardest trails in the northeast”, one can understand the difficulty CB has with the roots, leaves, logs, rocks and pebbles of this treacherous area. One other troubling aspect materialized (Jill cover your eyes), CB can not control those oversized rotors and has resorted to performing his own rendition of a powerslide on nearly every corner that would make a 2nd grader applaud with admiration. In the words of Gardner “Skids are for kids” ya looser. Maybe when Pro-rider convinced you to upgrade you should have bought the instructional video, “These brakes might be too much for you kid” or the supplementary video “You should have saved your money and stayed with 6” rotors to match your skills”. Needless to say, the “at one with my bike” turned into an approximate 9 by a third of the way through the ride. However, no matter the verbal abuse I could summon, he was determined not to break and had a successful ride with minimal embarrassment.
Racer X? Certainly not the most laid back rider but ecstatic to finally be riding at the front. In his own words, “Getting to the front is easy after my friends broke an arm, fractured an ankle, got pneumonia, can’t ride in inclement northeast weather and only rides once a month”. Nicely said Dude but don’t be so hard on yourself, true mountain biking takes a while to master and you’re doing just swell.
Franky is 0 and 17 for getting out of 909 without feeling like kryptonite is buried in the trail. Having witnessed the remarkable crash of energy at precisely the same moment on every ride is astounding. Me thinks he’s spending too much time at Stewart.
To all, thank you. Thank you for emphasizing 27 times how much fun Beacon was without me. You’re all the best. Stewart on the other hand…glad you had fun.
Franky, tell Pat to stop smoking, he doesn’t have enough light to compensated for the slow pace. Thankfully, there was just enough to get Justin back with the candlesticks that unfortunately went out prematurely.
Roadie, hope you haven’t thrown in the towel or got offended at the dashboard comments. Don’t resort to the unthinkable.
Alta’s getting X-rays so the jury’s out on her prompt return. Go figure, the one time she decides to enact the self-preservation instinct by putting down a hand instead of her head resulted in a worse injury.
DHB, glad the jalopy is working for you, however, when do you think you’ll be able to depreciate the Remedy to within your price range? Maybe if you back up over the front wheel or drop it off the gondola he’ll just give it to you. Just a thought…
Here’s the adventure I-Phone style: http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=396958
So in closing, pre-race rides are usually for the acclimation to the course by racers. We, however, just honored the race in by going to 909. We successfully avoided anything remotely resembling a race course. James should do just fine. Please take a moment to visit his racer page and donate a small sum of money towards his improvement endeavor. There’s various packages starting as low as $250 that will go to this all important cause. The site is www.imanidiot.com.
The race this weekend is a go unless it’s raining where plan B is to drink heavily at Billy’s.
Next ride: Ninham.
670 days till Whistler…LOL
Mount Beacon 10/14/2009
Author Manny:
From Manny:
Good Morning Bombers,
In the absence of our usual scribe, I will try to fill in once again.
As you may or may not know we attempted to mess with tradition and
start the ride at 5:30, not the pre ride mind you but the real ride.
Apparently The Plumber was so excited to show us the untouched by Dark
Horse rugged trails at Stewart that he pre rode them on Sunday AND had
Frank do the same. All in hopes of leading a successful, stress free
ride (more on that later).
5:30 came and went with us still on Baron rd waiting for 90% (aka
Kevin's responsibility). We did a short ride to kill some time and
made repairs to Alta's seatpost (Nic where are you with the spare
parts bag) and returned to find Pro Rider texting directions franticly
from 207 to Baron rd and mumbling something about he can't hear but he
CAN read!
After waiting double the amount of time it should take to get from 207
to Baron we left to begin our "Stewart Epic".
DHB returned with his $25 ride all fixed up and ready to go, Roadie
and his pez dispenser also was back for another crack at finishing a
ride without bodily harm, Antwon graced us with the one bike that has
no business ever being at Stewart, the 951 downhill beast because DHB
abused the Trek once again and Geisman brought "Woodie" out of storage
which became the reason he almost bailed ten minutes into the ride.
After arriving at the base of mini Beacon he discovered the extension
cable from his battery to the light had fallen off somewhere and with
the prospect of finding it slim he was ready to pack it in. When it
was suggested that if he use electrical tape to fasten the battery to
his frame, the look of horror on his face was priceless, along with
the exclamation " I can't put tape on this, the sticky stuff won't
come off!" a short time later a compromise was reached and a roll of
tape was sacraficed to fasten the battery to his stem which in turn
led to a hilarious endo caused by the center of gravity shift.
The ride continued on without incident for almost an hour, so good in
fact there was talk of it being a really fun ride and I was moved to
say " I don't want to jinx you Ralph, but I think everyone is enjoying
this ride"
Needless to say the jinx was on and we spent the next half hour
circling around like a dog chasing it's tail trying to find a way out
of the section. To his credit, the Happy Plumber took the positive
approach by pointing out that we got to practice going up and down the
same hills and as evidenced by Frank's fall on attempt #2 it was
needed by some!
Anthony, den mother that he is took charge and just starting riding in
one direction. Which just happened to be the correct one, so we were
able to find our way to the 84 overpass and the start of phase two,
which was described ( and I kid you not) this way. "If you liked that
section you're gonna love this one!"
A long hill climb ( I know Stewart, hill?) that was described as a
equal to the Beacon road climb brought out the beast known as Roadie.
After waiting to find a place to pass he elbowed past myself and
Frankie with "on your left! on your left!" coming out of his mouth
almost as fast as his legs were spinning. Unfortunatly for him once he
got in front he reverted back to a roadie and got tripped up and
bloodied by some tall grass and tail between legs admitted his
enthusiasim got the best of him.
With the wind howling, leaves falling, bushwacking in high gear and
Halloween coming on it was a surreal scene and the spirited romp up
the backside of the sisters was either motivated by people being
spooked or the fear that Johnnies would close before we were done, we
sprinted out to finish our 13 mile, almost three hour "epic".
A quick call secured our pies and we were suprised to find Ritchie
Calves there when we arrived. For those of you not old enough to
remember he used to ride with us back in the day and it was good to
catch up on what, and who he was doing these days!
All in all a night to remember for sure, if there is a lesson in all
of this it's, NEVER miss a Plumber led ride!
Check out the gps track and try to follow it
Next week at Beacon, Antwon has promised us " uphill people" singletrack
Although we will have to go up Beacon twice without coming down?
5:30 start and for those of you who are not sure of where it is (90%)
make James happy and use the maps section of our website!
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=382818
Stewart 10/07/2009
Author Manny:
Good Morning Bombers,
In the absence of our usual scribe, I will try to fill in once again.
As you may or may not know we attempted to mess with tradition and
start the ride at 5:30, not the pre ride mind you but the real ride.
Apparently The Plumber was so excited to show us the untouched by Dark
Horse rugged trails at Stewart that he pre rode them on Sunday AND had
Frank do the same. All in hopes of leading a successful, stress free
ride (more on that later).
5:30 came and went with us still on Baron rd waiting for 90% (aka
Kevin's responsibility). We did a short ride to kill some time and
made repairs to Alta's seatpost (Nic where are you with the spare
parts bag) and returned to find Pro Rider texting directions franticly
from 207 to Baron rd and mumbling something about he can't hear but he
CAN read!
After waiting double the amount of time it should take to get from 207
to Baron we left to begin our "Stewart Epic".
DHB returned with his $25 ride all fixed up and ready to go, Roadie
and his pez dispenser also was back for another crack at finishing a
ride without bodily harm, Antwon graced us with the one bike that has
no business ever being at Stewart, the 951 downhill beast because DHB
abused the Trek once again and Geisman brought "Woodie" out of storage
which became the reason he almost bailed ten minutes into the ride.
After arriving at the base of mini Beacon he discovered the extension
cable from his battery to the light had fallen off somewhere and with
the prospect of finding it slim he was ready to pack it in. When it
was suggested that if he use electrical tape to fasten the battery to
his frame, the look of horror on his face was priceless, along with
the exclamation " I can't put tape on this, the sticky stuff won't
come off!" a short time later a compromise was reached and a roll of
tape was sacraficed to fasten the battery to his stem which in turn
led to a hilarious endo caused by the center of gravity shift.
The ride continued on without incident for almost an hour, so good in
fact there was talk of it being a really fun ride and I was moved to
say " I don't want to jinx you Ralph, but I think everyone is enjoying
this ride"
Needless to say the jinx was on and we spent the next half hour
circling around like a dog chasing it's tail trying to find a way out
of the section. To his credit, the Happy Plumber took the positive
approach by pointing out that we got to practice going up and down the
same hills and as evidenced by Frank's fall on attempt #2 it was
needed by some!
Anthony, den mother that he is took charge and just starting riding in
one direction. Which just happened to be the correct one, so we were
able to find our way to the 84 overpass and the start of phase two,
which was described ( and I kid you not) this way. "If you liked that
section you're gonna love this one!"
A long hill climb ( I know Stewart, hill?) that was described as a
equal to the Beacon road climb brought out the beast known as Roadie.
After waiting to find a place to pass he elbowed past myself and
Frankie with "on your left! on your left!" coming out of his mouth
almost as fast as his legs were spinning. Unfortunatly for him once he
got in front he reverted back to a roadie and got tripped up and
bloodied by some tall grass and tail between legs admitted his
enthusiasim got the best of him.
With the wind howling, leaves falling, bushwacking in high gear and
Halloween coming on it was a surreal scene and the spirited romp up
the backside of the sisters was either motivated by people being
spooked or the fear that Johnnies would close before we were done, we
sprinted out to finish our 13 mile, almost three hour "epic".
A quick call secured our pies and we were suprised to find Ritchie
Calves there when we arrived. For those of you not old enough to
remember he used to ride with us back in the day and it was good to
catch up on what, and who he was doing these days!
All in all a night to remember for sure, if there is a lesson in all
of this it's, NEVER miss a Plumber led ride!
Check out the gps track and try to follow it
Next week at Beacon, Antwon has promised us " uphill people" singletrack
Although we will have to go up Beacon twice without coming down?
5:30 start and for those of you who are not sure of where it is (90%)
make James happy and use the maps section of our website!
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=382818
Ninham 09/30/2009
Author Nic:
Blue Mountain 09/23/2009
Author Nic:
909
09/16/2009Author CB
Morning Bombers,
As you await the Moab Masterpiece sure to be filling your inbox
shortley, please allow me to fill in for your usual Thursday morning
scribe and describe last nights ride as judging by the attendance many
of you clearly enjoy the recap better.
The ride began with an omission from the Happy Plumber that the pizza
counsole (him alone) last week voted for 909 even though he didn't
ride. He DID have his bike in the back of his truck but was so
distraught over the knowledge that bags were being packed for Moab at
that moment, he couldn't find the strength to pull it out of the bed.
After that bombshell we began to ride with the Moab vet's giddy over
the light Weight of our regular rides. Perhaps too giddy and too light
for me as a 6" drop proved to cause more bodily harm then two years of
dropping off everything in sight at Moab. Still analyzing the video as
we speak.
Thankfully Racer X put it in to perspective as only he could by
stating " you know the Northeast has the hardest riding in the country "
Sure it is.........
DHB was wondering how he ever rode the one legged black beauty after
spending time on another fine Santa Cruz product all weekend. Call
them up Billy, they will ship it to you the same day!!
The Plumber to his credit did lead us on an enjoyable ride over some
of 909's less traveled (by us) trails even though the GPS map looks
like we were chasing a butterfly.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=357360
Racer X actually had a light not made by Black and Decker, although he
didn't purchase it yet. Gotta test out a few different ones first to
make sure they are brighter than his shoplight.
Frank seemed to be missing his carbon Rush but we were NOT missing the
spandex he was sporting during the longest ride ever. Never enough
time to look at that color combo disaster!
Antwon made an appearence which lifted our spirits and made us think
that maybe Kendra's return is coming soon.
Alta tried to make me feel better by also getting up close and
personal with a tree but was way too happy when telling the Plumber to
take a picture of my cheese gratered neck.
We went through four pies with only six people while watching helmet
cam footage of Moab. Great to eat real pizza again!
Next week Blue Mtn
Moab recap coming soon!!
CB
Moab
09/10/2009-09/13/2009Author Nic:
The Beacon Bomber Moab 09 Documentary...a collaborative effort from your tour guides:
Day 1: Wow, it seemed like it took forever, but was here before we knew it and now we're on the other side of our Bomber Adventure in the motherland. The trip started off with your typical 2:45 am wake up call or O'dark thirty in military terms. While this wasn't as drastic or out of the ordinary as one might think but it was a serious factor later on in the game with a very delirious Franky Frank who thought he was dreaming on Slick Rock. More about that later. The flight was especially notable for the mere fact that I was able to coordinate a surprise 40th birthday gift with Manny's Wife for him that was executed flawlessly. I'm not really sure who is the benefactor as WE are all getting a top of the line Point of View helmet camera for this Moab trip but Manny gets to own it. Having had this trip planned for what seemed like eternity, nothing EVER goes exactly according to plan. Last year an SUV rental got you the perfect bike transport with a roll down rear window; this year however a gigantic SUV got us a very small fixed rear window without a hitch or roof rack and sardine like style in the jump seats. Thankfully Franky totally ignored the criticism of Manny and I on how a caravan would NEVER work.
For most travelers, going from SLC to Moab takes a mere 3.5 hours...not this group! We have a GPS, I-phone, map and 5 critics, however the killer comment by National that Rte 6 may be closed due to forest fire had us do a tour of the lower half of Utah and got us to Moab with enough time to get us caught in a thunder & lightning storm on Slick Rock. Spread out among 3 hotels in Moab (The 2 lovers, Franky & Tommy at Motel Slicks; DHB & The Roadie livin’ it up at the Days Inn Suites like a couple of Gangstas and the rest of us slummin' at the Ramada), the group was a bit diverse but we all rendezvoused at the Bike Shop for a chaotic assembly of bikes for the late day ride at Slick Rock. Jamming square pegs in a round hole = 9 bikes inside 1 vehicle. Not only was this the saving grace, this caravan was the equivalent of the USS Enterprise and even James Kirk would have planted a kiss on Scotty for bailing us out of failure. Franky got ALL nine bikes into this Wal-Mart assault vehicle even with a Cannondale, which has that f'ed up lefty fork requiring a tool kit to remove the front wheel. Franky was our official packer...in more ways than you would like to hear. After what took forever, we made it to the trail head, threw the bikes together and went out for a sprinkling of rain and minor life threatening lightning strikes. Sleep deprivation did not bode well with many of the BBs as we were not able to complete the loop and turned it into the dreaded out and back. Climbs and off trail exploring were awesome although not completely embraced by everyone in the group. Cry Baby proved his claim to be a desert rider and finally dialed in his bike skills to offer a remnant of admiration from the group...pity it took so long. Down Hill Bill (DHB) having latched on to the younger Bomber crowd was seriously befuddled at all of the climbing and lack of "shuttles". Apparently his lift ticket was not valid in this desert land. Unfortunately his posse was not there (seriously missed) to offer the needed courage for all of the "exposure" hucks. Poor DHWB (walking) took 3 trails to increase his bravery to the point of notoriety but still bitched a fit for everything from too much sand to the climbs that were put there purposely to ruin his ride. After the great 22 hour day of traveling and slick rock indoctrination of the 5 Moab newbies we planned out the next day at Amasa Back. Cam documentary: Manny's Helmet (Couldn't get the loop in so we went out and back, let the newbies bail and finished up with the practice loop). http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=350374 Picture: “Petroglyphs” & “Jammed”.
Day 2: Amasaback/Jacksons Description from our favorite guide: A Moab classic offers a plethora of fun: a rock staircase, stream crossing, plenty of climbs/descents. Plenty of opportunities to soil yourself! You pretty much follow the ledge up to the top of Amasa Back, be careful on the double track - it approaches a pretty exposed area that could kill you! Near the top, look for rock carins and the overlook ledge. Go right to Jacksons for those who love steep, loose, nasty single track descents with "big death on the left". Definitely technical, scary and perfect for those who aren't quite right!
The vivid memories of the 11 man/woman carnage that trampled down the trailhead stairs last year had Manny and I a bit worried for the new crowd but the walk-a-thon kept them all safe...sadly it didn't make for a very good video. Well, except for Franky, the brave soul as he made it to the last step with a very nice dismount and bike tangle. I with the camera and CB trying to get within view, a nice rythmic wheelie-drop escapade followed that even our young DH Dudes would be proud! Pro-Rider rode down as a cinder block being tossed down the stairs with Canadian enthusiasm. Fortunately, sleep corrected many of the shortcomings of the previous night and even Tommy was able to get out and lead for a few milliseconds (on the road). Our Roadie was a bit dismayed at the exposure, penalty for failure and Alta's all-too-enthusiastic approach to the cliffs edge trail. However, he did manage a smile a few moments here and there. AB proved to have the best stairs, climb sections and rim exposure that you would expect from Moab but Jackson's Trail was the end that justified the means. Pro Rider got to showcase his skills and thoroughly enjoyed not being the Looser this year (Racer X has this year's honor). The Banker was able to perform a riding endo in the sketchy chute prior to Jackson's that had him bewildered upon his survival and took a few minutes for him to swallow his heart jammed in throat... Just like a top ten roller coaster the Amasa Back/Jacksons trail was over way too quick (a common theme for the return members). Ohh yeah, Franky just couldn’t deal with his accursed 34 pound bike and begged for relief, so we put him in a Carbon Rush with a wet noodle-like lefty fork. The Cam Documentary: Nic's swingarm facing backwards. (Thankfully all went well until many close calls ended with the inevitable shaving off of the camera on a tight switchback and me almost owning Manny's new camera). http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=355871 Picture: “Walkathon”
Part 2: Sovereign Trail Description: A new Moab must ride, this trail is twisty, sandy with lots of rollers and is super rideable! Rolling single track with tough climbs, twisty, sandy, up & down with wee bits of nastiness on the descents.
A 2-hour lunch was the result of Utah slow motion. Due to the newness of the trail and loss of last year's guide to injury, we bought a map from the dudes who cut the trail in the hopes of not subjecting the group to errors. Fat chance! Right out of the box we realized the trailhead was hidden from tourists by a very badly drawn intersection on our trusty $4 map. Being one of the guides and serious lack of support by Techno-boy, I trudged off on my own through some seriously sandy terrain to confirm we were NOT on the correct trail intersection. 2 miles and a coronary approaching, I made it back to the cars with a much chagrined CB, who was just beaming with pride that he had confirmed the obvious. A short out-of-the-way drive led us to the trailhead in the middle of nowhere and a bit of nervousness that we may get stuck out here with this great map. The trail, however was well marked and the guides relaxed their anxiety to enjoy the terrain with minimal responsibility. The poor Banker however, was able to destroy his derailleur and hanger on "nothing". We're thinking it was because letting air out of one's own tires was too obvious. So he got to turn around and go back to town. So the ride, as originally planned, ended as an out and back but with the reward that all up hill turned south for an eye watering, dirt jumping adventure that had DHB spreading his wings for flight. A dry heat? 97 degrees in the desert was still f'n hot, although Alta seemed to acclimate well...go figure. 4 out of eight [50% for Alta’s benefit] ran out of water, the banker took the van, spotty cell service and vultures descending upon us, hmmm, it was tough to look back on the ride with fondness. Well, until the van was in the wavy distance and civilization was within grasp, then it was high fives all around and cheers to the best out-of-the-oven cookies we’ve ever had and a sip of that Canadian Budweiser. The highlight of this ride was a small sign saying [this direction] "not recommended" and which way do Bombers go? Yup...up, except for the Roadie, who wanted nothing to do with it so he waited for our return, sipping Gatorade and talking on the phone. Only when we returned, rode past him and yelled, did he decide to open a Gu and get ready to go. This was a common theme with the new guy…always a bit bewildered and slightly misguided! For the rest of us it was a very nice, gut-wrenching single track switchback to heaven. Just when throwing up was inevitable, we found shade! The return trip made this section a power sliding extravaganza. We need to revisit this trail in the future as a loop down the wash. While the carbon bike made for a more pleasurable ride for Franky, the resulting ass rash that followed had him walking like a weeble wobble. The hot tub and dinner at the Brewery rounded out an awesome day with more than a few flats. Cam Documentary: Manny's helmet. http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=352705 Picture: “Beer”.
Day 3: The Whole Enchilada description: This is as burley as it gets, Approx. 33 miles with a 7000 ft descent. Burro Pass Section: Climbing Burro Pass at 11,600 ft is a horrible climb with scenic views of Canyonlands, creeks and Aspen forests. When finally at the top and your heart rate comes below 200 the fun begins! Carefully descend the double skull and crossbones switchback single track and smell our brake pads cooking! I dare you to find more nasty, wild single track anywhere. This section is loaded with logs, roots, rocks and a few man made obstacles sure to excite even the most psychotic Canadian nutball (sorry Kevin). Hazzard County Section (Start of last year’s shuttle run): Approx. 4 miles where downhill/arial bike handling is required. This is another infamous Moab single track. It was highly un-official for a few years and then simply illegal/closed. It is now open and most folks will have plenty of opportunity to get airborne, hug a tree at speed and soil themselves. Kokopelli Down Section: With over 4000 ft of drop, this one's a non-stop ball of fun! It includes UPS (Upper Porcupine Singletrack), mostly fun and scenic but some spots are pretty exposed. This trail is more fun than sex (if you're married) and lasts longer! It is a tooth rattling downhill that requires you to remember that "faster is funner" and try not to mess up the trail with your flesh. LPS (Lower Porcupine Single track) is techy fun. The"notch" and exposure in some places can be sobering. After the "notch" there is some exposed bike surfing. There are some scary techno moves here with the last 4 miles being technical 1 track with "Death on the Right". Finish this ride off with a 6 mile road ride back to town, have a beer and collapse in the parking lot!
The Whole Enchilada? Totally sick. We THOUGHT we did it last year but OMG were we in for it this year. Turns out that Kyle from Acme Shuttles took us to the real TOP this time. "Hey dude this isn't where you dropped us off last year". "I can take you back down if you'd like?" We quickly declined! While the double track to the trailhead was a scenic descent and quite enjoyable, the in-your-face climb out of the valley into Burrow pass was, well, excruciating. Turns out that grueling climb out of the box last year was only a small sampling of the M'therF'er with 1000 agonizing, lactic acid killing feet in sun-soaked switchbacks from hell. The payoff however was a sick aspen, pine tree, steep switchback section that was it's own ride before we even got to Hazard, site of last year's start. Needless to say there were many smiles to go around and the start of what was to be a record pinch flat day. DHB led us in Flat acquisitions with 4 because of his unrefined style of downhill. While speed is one of his attributes, once exposure was added he turned into somewhat of a puss but the potential is there. The Roadie had a slightly increased anxiety on the ridge as well but thankfully he managed to stop sobbing long enough to join us at the bottom. Pro-Rider wore the helmet cam today and proved to be a very talkative commentator...no surprise. By the time we reached hazard we were thoroughly warmed up and readily ripped into the field only to stop in the aspens and regroup, however DHB got a flat in record time at the top. Unfortunately we did not have any psychos in the group that wanted to pull off the notch, however the bike surfing and second base slide in the powder covered me from head to toe in fine Utah earth. Complaints were at a minimum amazingly but Billy didn't disappoint and had some minor outbursts. We hooked up with some Colorado dudes, Chris and Brady. Chris being very conditioned at altitude, demoralized us often. Oxygen was a rare commodity in Beacon Bomber lungs. Lots of drops, super fast chatter and air speed during a 7.5 hour ride that exhausted everyone. Notable: me, PR and CB took flight off the diving board and most other 3+ foot drops we could find. 2.3 tires and 36mm stanchions with a gravity dropper seat made for a very fun downhill experience. One could only imagine what it would’ve been like behind a full face helmet as DHB kept telling me. Funniest moments: Franky’s Sobe tights and “Hey no worries kids there's a hot dog stand ahead with ice cream and italian ice!” Believe it or not, many bought this one in a fit of delirium. 9 total flats with the winner being DHB. Cam Documentary: Pro-Rider handlebar. http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=352006 Picture: “Bombers”.
Day 4: Poison Spider Mesa to Portal Trail: Piles of obstacles and a slickrock playground. It also delivers WAY more than your recommended daily allowance of sand. If you are skilled, lobotomized and generally angry you can ride the Portal Trail to make this a loop. Both the surgeon general and BLM do not recommend riding this trail. Downhillers and North Shore types will find this lower portion a hateful bloodbath of fun.
Lost 3 riders today to Arches so the rest of us hammered out the last ride in leisurely fashion to get to the portal with enough energy to have the one last hoorah. Great slick rock makes and a bit of leap frog with the Jeepers until we were all alone at the arch. Nice climb but next time calls for the Gold Bar Rim trail connection to Portal. The roadie, a tired Legacy Tom and hamburger ass Franky chose well in opting out since the long road section at the top made for some boring riding in anticipation for the fun stuff. Pro-Rider with his amazing common sense went on a last minute scavenger hunt before the ride for a specialized dealer to fix his torn shoe. After spending $20 on an unrelated shoe repair and turning down the offer for a $90 replacement pair, he was beaming at his wise decision until 6 common sense riders laughed at the stupidity… a quick return to the shop ensued shortly thereafter. Alta, having the rides of her life until Portal was a bit melancholy at the end where she got down on one knee, looked to the Gods and cried “Kendra, why aren’t you here, I need you!” Truth be told the Fem Fatales were all seriously missed, including Calves. Brewery night bomber style? Yes, the brewery was tagged, many, many times over. Thanks to the drunkin insistence of the Canadian, there should be some pictures of bomber tags from across the globe rolling into the bomber email address. Utah’s great 3.2% alcohol content led to consuming large quantities of brew with very little affect and essentially felt like I was rolling out of the place. http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=357383 Picture: “Tagged”.
Travel day: Another early start but beeline to the airport this time. Not without incedent(s) however! Frankie Franks coffee did very little to keep him awake so the solution he came up with involved cool desert air circulating the cabin @ 90 mph. It was enough to keep Pro Rider crouching behind a floor mat for protection! Our plan of leaving on time and getting to the Airport with time to eat was suddenly in doubt because of Nic's insistance on using the iPhone to check in to Delta.com. Apparently " more bars in more places" doesn't apply where the jackalopes outnumber cellphone toting humans. After a amusing game of Whack-a-Mole with service we decided to avoid a meltdown and parked on the ramp to I70 and let him finish even though the GF kept saying "this makes NO sense" the rest of the ride was uneventfull, CB and Banker debating Health Care, Ritchie having night blindness thinking CB was crossing the yellow line into oncoming traffic and a pit stop at what seemed to be a gas station straight out of delevernce. Upon arriving at SLC international and ordering breakfast, the real fun began. Settling up for the rooms and cars. If you have ever seen Abbot & Costello do "Who's on First" routine you will have a good idea of what took place next! Somehow Alta made sense of it all, although there was some doubt weather even she could make sense of CB's napkin math.
<<...>> <<...>> <<...>> <<...>> <<...>> <<...>>
For all you Bombers that missed this adventure, we thought about you often and wished you were there to enjoy the fun. Maybe next year we can put together something with the whole crew. For those that went, hopefully it was all we hyped it up to be and more.
Nic
Stewart 09/09/2009
Jockey Hill 09/02/2009
Author Nic:
Morning BB Crew,
Best weather day of the summer and 12 riders for the Jockey Hill excursion, what could be better?...Maybe a surprise visit by the other Bombers once in a while!
This was a fun ride as JH rarely disappoints. A big thanks has to go out to Down Hill Bill (DHB), formerly known as ROY, for not running my crumpled heap over during my fish out of water rendition. The one-fork-wonder took 1st place at white face this past weekend and was a bit dismayed last night that the lift pass no longer worked for a shuttle ride to the top. The entire ride was under his own power, which left him a tad drained for the down hill sections. Poor guy couldn’t get around the road block Cry Baby put up each time gravity took over. Honestly he’s kinda slow and admittedly a dry weather rider that you’ll just have to detour around if you’d like to actually get a thrill.
Superstar of the night was that sick Shopper-Extraordinaire, Banker Boy. Still the Gerbil in the running wheel on a down hill saddle height, but the guy actually pushed Geisman during his lead. Fully out of breath, lung in hand, he was still able to eek out a barely audible “Ahh Leader Stress” during a brief stumble by the Buckeye. Comical to say the least, but most were dumbfounded with his brazing Bomber-like attitude. The jersey may be working as advertised. The poor guy finally broke down and bought a light only to leave it nestled in the garage tucked into the full Camelbak that he left there as well. Apparently he’s more in need of a gear list than he once anticipated and “bringing everything you normally do” likely will not be sufficient for the next outing.
Remarkably after last weeks mechanical disaster, there wasn’t much destruction. Big Ring managed to chew up a chain but had the wherewithal to stop pedaling and actually has the ability to fix his bike. Cry Baby on the other hand has definitely become his own worst nightmare this season in the bike maintenance department. The blubbering fool actually….get this….let “some” air out of his FORK. I know, I know dumb but during much conversation the barely audible Pssst hung in the night air like an ominous omen of things to come. If you thought Manny had trouble leaving the ground with a fully charged suspension, you should have seen the circus act that ensued. No matter the speed, a bunny hop rarely resulted in clearing a log with both tires. Pity. The repetitive calls for a shock pump didn’t mask his error and just added to the giggling and disbelief. I even think Jill Smiles scoffed at the stupidity of the event.
Yup, Jilly joined us once again and in a brand new ride. Don’t get too excited, the ride has a motor. Although a Scion, thankfully it’s not a smart car. That would be unforgivable. Though she took a couple of biffs, they were largely not witnessed by others and left one to only imagine a smiling cartwheel. She cleaned up well and collected her composure reasonable well.
As you surmised, Geisman made it out for his second post-Iraq ride with Bomber friends on his trusty steed Woody. Super efficient guy was having an enjoyable time with the climbs but had the slightly bone-jarring experience on the 1 inch of travel he enjoys so much on the downs. We let the GPS out in front briefly for a quick techno-spin with the Banker in pursuit. Always the cheerleader, when everyone was pitching a fit going up the stream bed, Mr. Optimism chimed in with the tell tale Rally cries of enjoyment that made many rethink their bitching. Once the boulder bashing was over, everyone seemed to calm their fits of rage.
Racer X thoroughly enjoyed himself having been able to ride the trails this time. Although at the time of this writing he may still be driving home according to the over exaggeration of having a long commute. Boo hoo, we’re all very sympathetic to your woes. Thankfully all the riding and blubber shedding you’ve done this season has made you a formidable opponent to all the members of the La La Club. Keep it up Tiger.
La La Club Chairman didn’t disappoint and has been promoted to Supreme Leader of the Chatty Cathy’s. The dabbling 29er enthusiast turned talk show host has effectively given up on hard riding. Still in love with his stolen bike from Calves, you would think it would be tested more often. Maybe this guy needs a mountain biking trip more than the rest. Egad Mon, you’re a Bomber, start acting like one! I hear Mary Kay is putting together a group and they have jackets instead of jerseys…might be something worth looking into this fall.
MOAB is here! 7 days. Next ride is being established by the skeleton crew and leaning towards Cronomer. Various rides happening this weekend; texting will ensue. Monday is likely an epic Ringwood ride compliments of the Racer. Congrats Becky on the Podium. Same for you Gardner.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=340515
Nic
Ringwood 08/26/2009
Author Nic:
Ohhh the Horror!
Morning Bombers.
A few things seem to be absolute assurances when Ringwood is the destination: 1) The ride never starts at 6 no matter how much Racer X chastises the group (can’t really take him serious). 2) No matter the forecast, it will always rain. 3) Things will break.
Although it’s not in my nature, Good job Racer Boy for putting together something worth traveling to. Next time do something about the road descent and we’ll all be good. Some sad news, the plumber didn’t get the chance to hold back the group to the la la pace after giving his derailleur hanger a stress test and popping a few spokes for good measure. Donovan was just all too enthusiastic to accompany him to the truck after peddling like a gerbil in granny much of the night. The kiss of death AKA Pro-Rider had a hand in this by trying to swap out the middle ring just as the last participant clicked into the pedals to start the ride. Funny how when the Canadian touches your ride with good intentions, most of us have the brief impulse to thank him but then quickly turns into giving him a Super-Fly off the top rope for just thinking of “helping”. This friends should have been the red flag of things to come as this was just the beginning.
Thankfully, with the triumphant return of the Geisman, we did a nice preride on a great new trail before the demolition started. This humble fellow, who despite having ticket-in-hand is still on the fence for Moab. So two opportunities lie ahead; one, he will have Giants season opener tickets available for any of the non-Moab goers or two, you just might find yourself on the plane along side the other 9, responding to the new name of Kristopher Geis. Mr. Positive energy enjoyed the pace and camaraderie but was somewhat appalled at the Bomber Etiquette and knack for niceness in the group. This was particularly prevalent at the mechanical stops that plagued this ride to the nth degree. What I would have given for the Beautician comments at those junctures. So lets talk about the “Rider-Rules”. Didn’t think we really had to go over this rudimentary subject but given the nervous tick in ROYs neck and my small meltdown perhaps it’s over due.
Kudos to Ralphy-Boy for simply coming to a quick conclusion…the bike’s broke, where’s the car? Missed ya but we’ve all been there. Congrats on refraining from letting the Canadian “fix” it. So Vapor Trail, who was not nearly so offensive on this Ringwood outing decided to leave the parking lot without air in his tires despite the 6 bike pumps strewn about the tailgates. Rider Rule #3 ensure your ride is ready to ride. While that was tolerable, the continued Howard Cossell play by play of Motherly recommendations on trail conditions and risk assessments almost had him duct taped to a tree (no one had tape or zip ties for that matter). Could not, would not shut the F up almost to the point of madness. RR#2: Let an experienced group enjoy their ride without commentary. Thankfully for his sake there was a diversion…Nick. Dude, the seat BROKE! The 10 minutes fixing it on the trail did nothing to help speed along the 20 more minutes we all stared at that POS fighting off the countless insect attacks. What fun! RR#1: Know when your ride is over. Continuing with the carnage: VT broke a chain then his under charged light died (Ref: RR#3).
Rider Rundown: ROY showed up with the Remedy, compliments of Twon and his prodigy project. Not the best ride to go with flat pedals and heavier bike but the gravity games put a smile on his haggard mug. I’m thinking the Brother had something to do with the additional hills for his benefit. Alta rode with more confidence back on her own ride for a change. BTW: she needs an alias. Crash, cartwheel and headplant haven’t gone over so well. The new guy was back out with us having jumped in with both feet and will be joining us in Moab. Still reluctant to embrace the mountain bike fully, but the potential is overwhelming. Seriously hope we haven’t gotten this guy in over his head! Justin brought the new guy but failed to eat prior to a humid rock garden escapade. Skinny man was a bit grouchy towards the end. Shocking headline of the ride: CB had a good night. No Homer Simpsons, no double overhand bike throws, and no crying…who’da thought. Pro-Rider let everyone know exactly where on the trail he was at ALL times. The demo bike can’t possibly take any more of his “finesse” and will surely crumple under this outstanding riding style by year’s end. Thankfully it will not be accompanying him to Moab. Big ring. Ahh what to say about big ring? Not so reluctant to use other gears anymore. Loves to make an entrance. Smiles even when lying down…dem roots is a killa. The guy brought the beer so he gets the MVP of the night.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=331356
Next ride is Jockey Hill. Yes lights are still required.
Thanks to the contributing editors.
Web site rent is due: do we keep it or send it?
14 days till Moab
Let the feeding frenzy begin…..
Nic.
Ninham
08/19/2009Author Nic:
Stewart
08/12/2009Author Nic:
BB crew and wannabies,
Wow a Dark Horse cross country race is all it takes to pull nearly every Bomber out of the woodwork…even the broken ones! Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of the ride was a celebrity appearance by the one, the only, Antwon. No folks, this wasn’t your “whoa is me” guest appearance at the pizza festival, it was a bonafide, in the saddle, cough up a lung pedal-fest on the Jolly Green Giant (the new ride). Apparently the Doc got so tired of hearing the “WHYYYYYYY”, sobbing and blubbering of the injustice that is his healing capability that he just conceded and told him to get back on the bike. The amazing progress he has made should have him fully healed by 2019 but who’s counting? The permagrin on Ant’s face was almost a perfect rendition of Batman’s arch rival “The Joker”. Honestly you couldn’t tell what made him happier; the reunion with his long lost sole or the fact he was actually riding his brand new bike 7 months sooner than expected. So the dynamic duo were back together again for the ride of irony!
Yes friends…Irony. Nobody can mistake the Homer Simpson renditions by the Cry Baby and the temper tantrums that have you looking away in embarrassment, but alas the roles have done a cataclysmic change. Gardner lost his chain on nearly every obstacle and loved the experience so thoroughly that he embraced the “Manny Experience” in full fashion…but just short of the double overhand axe throw with his bike (some things are best left to the founder). I’m thinking the continuous passing comments may have contributed to his ire but some of us Bombers just relish in the downfall of our fellow riders and just love to turn the screws. While it was a feat of greatness that Ant joined us, it was just a bit peculiar to look for him behind half the group or within reasonable distance from the cleanup crew. For a brief jaunt though, he got out front and all kidding aside, was great to see him rip…pity about the weezing at the end but at least he’s back.
The vast distance we covered was for the most part fairly dry and majority of the mud was avoidable…until the pond trail with it’s 2 V-bottom, water filled berms that left my white steed sadly speckled with that diseased-soaked stewart mud. Becky and a few others had other plans and just plowed right through on pretty much all of them including a few that were out of the way. By contrast, they were not the cleanest survivors of MTA. The happy plumber was the typical chatty cathy of the La La Club once again. The realization that we were going to run out of light before completing 2 laps left him resolved to meander along at the conversation pace he’s so accustomed. The New Guy (Ritchie Long) (nickname forthcoming if he graduates from newbie status) all dressed in “roadie” attire had the master plumber reliving his feats of asphalt achievements and preserving his sandbagging master plan. Although I attempted a few coaxing comments at the end he failed to bite and reserved his sandbagness to the final loop in the dark, picking on Manny like the school yard bully of old. CB: shoulda seen it comin fool.
Big Ring even made it out on the A-bike no less. Apparently though it is too light and is missing a leg on the fork that over amplified the earth’s gravitational force; “Big Ring Down, Big Ring Down”…Houston we have a problem. Franky has finally abandoned the back excuse and seems to be riding with uber-confidence…still a bit sensitive though, but riding in front of the plumber. AKA the Banker goes by Ryan Fohl, but in last nights case it was FOUL…extremely FOUL. The horror your digestive system must have been going through and your poor wife! CB, again with the irony, didn’t cry at all. The middle ring still doesn’t work for him but he had a fresh set of brakes and only failed to beat a few makes. The aforementioned bully issue apparently was his only biff in the woods. Much thanks has to go out to Racer X for retrieving Gardner and I for the inadvertent 3 sisters out-n-back. How we both missed the very large, multiple arrows pointing in the opposite direction of our travels is beyond me. Our apologies for rippin it back to the group and forcing your redline experience…did you at least get to see Gardner lose the chain a few times? BTW if you thought he was waiting up for you, you’re sorely mistaken. Becky and Alta made up the estrogen players and still waiting the return of the Beautician and who knows wear Smiles has been!!!
There’s 29 days till Moab. With a little prodding we may just get back the mother hen as our tour guide. Funny how one ride at stewart got the gears moving again. Calves YOU are a LOSER. Ant breaks his ankle, says he’s out for the season because of the doctor’s diagnosis. You panic and see it as a way out of your mediocre performance to save face. Ant’s back, you sold your bike and now it will be twice as hard to come back next year, jokes on you sucka.
The pizza festival was good. 4 pies, use of 90% of the tables, lots of laughs and burning of the mouth with a bit of beer to wash away the scar tissue, what could be better? Maybe a Chicken, bacon, ranch without the dressing cooked into the pie??? Some places we’re just going to have to start standing over the cook, what’s the pizza nation coming to?
Last note: The ride was devoid of Canadians. No surprise, the Dark Horse Forty is this weekend for a good portion of the Bombers. A few, including myself are going to Blue Mountain for a 4 hour leisure ride. Sorry to disappoint Gardner.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=311305
Nic
Cronomer 08/05/2009
Author Pro Rider:
Oh so wrong, Pro rider recap time! Pro rider and the dedicated Plumber showed
up for the traditional pre ride. We decided it was a good idea to explore the
tails and rid the trails of prickers. The thorns that missed my arm hit Ralph's
and vise versa. There was twama and much bloodshed from the pricker bushes
and it was only pre ride. It was nice to see the ride was important enough for
at least a few of the regulars to show up! Billy and the Banker showed up for a
grudge ride against the mighty Cronomer. We headed in and eventually reached the
tower to see 90% roll up in his Honda? 90% (formerly known as Deaf Nick) wants
to know wear to park. We inform 90% to park at the bottom and we will be right
there. After tearing down Yard sale and the big rock roller (Banker and Billy
walked it) we met up 90% and started another journey to the top. The "Sisters"
do not discriminate and took its toll on the riders especially with the heat and
humidity. When approaching Ralph up the sister I heard a faint wheezing... I
thought no more plumbers crack for me, the plumbers tired! Pro rider roosted by
for a victorious climb. Yah Nic, I can hear it now... If you were there you
would of this, you would have that... but you weren't. You were watching Dave
Mathews. We should have gotten you a white shirt this time with the BIG LOOSER
on the back! Manny, I'm sure you have some thing to say also but truth is you
would have spun out on a rock o r been yelling at your bike because the drive
train is still messed up! We rode many a fun trails with little bush whacking
thanks to Ralph's excellent trail guiding skills. We hit some little power
climbs up some rock faces that were pretty funny especially when trying to
explain to 90% that he had to do it again because he didn't make it. Pizza was
awesome! An all meat pie for dinner accompanied with the world's finest
Budweiser beer. Billy was adamant about there NOT being any pineapple on it. It
was a great ride and you people who let medical conditions, family obligations,
music concerts? get in your way should be ashamed! Next ride is at Stewart. This
is a prep ride for the Forty race. I regret to inform you all that I am unable
to attend because I will be in Canada drinking beer! BTW drinking beer in Canada
is nothing to be ashamed of!
Pro rider
PS no flats, no crashes, just blood shed from pricker bushes!
909 07/29/2009
Author Nic:
Once again we were the benefactors of a wonderfully humid and wet ride. Very, very wet! Nothing in comparison to the Blue Monsoon but buckets of water were coming down nonetheless. The headlines today are almost unimaginable… the Plumber finally conceded and
abandoned the 29er for the traditional wheels. After many, many months of dialing it in and swearing to its advantages, the bullshit ended yesterday and the groveling began though with a smile this time. Calves quit and practically gave Ant’s old ride to the grumpy fellow in pursuit of an Uzzi. Aside from the ridiculously narrow tires, he was finally back in true rider form and much less grumpy.Speaking of grumpy, the cry baby, bike mechanic extraordinaire continued to have problems with the orange Blur despite the 15 hours of preparation time prior to the ride. Finally having gone through every malfunctioning part he realized (through much lecture) that the chain ring is worn out and it will cost him another $100 to get back to the superior log crosser that he is. Resolved to ride in the granny ring all night, the psycho alter ego that we’ve experienced these past several months was largely suppressed until the “Big Hill”. Stare at it and you hit it. From the dawn of gravity sports you would think this would have caught on with our weeping friend but alas one small rock got the hat trick on him. Three complete failures in a row and a very comical display of, as Ryan so eloquently put it, tourettes syndrome. We’re not quite sure actually how many curse words came out in those few short seconds but pretty sure it was all of them, with a very courteous “Sorry Alta” at the end.
Franky, Frank unfortunately had another “off” night and especially enjoyed the continual rubbing of that rear wheel.
Pro-rider having fallen from grace as a Bomber Leader was overruled by the group on several occasions, which is a continual reminder that no one still trusts him to get us out of 909 at a reasonable hour. Although he was actually on his game, he still road remarkably slow for this late in the season. Hopefully this trend changes for the Moab trip or he may go shopping with the Banker on Saturday and Sunday. Yes as usual he was very loud and thankfully the rain muffled his piercing cries as we poached the preserve in reckless abandon.
ROY finally got his wish at the Pizza Festival by not having to endure 1 more Hawaiian pie for the lack of Pineapple on the menu. Much to the groups dismay, Pineapple, Bacon, Ham were not in the devouring onslaught, but were nicely replaced by the Chicken, Bacon, Ranch delicacy that may actually make the menu according to the owners after our full opinion on the deliciousness of the after ride delicacy. They baulked at the “Beacon Bomber Special” we suggested though.
Pro-Rider, Plumber and Cry Baby went out for another quick lap after the exit and according to Cry Baby, was “totally awesome”. Go figure, the majority of the group bails and all of a sudden he’s having the ride of his life… Less witnesses!
Dear Beacon Bombers (younger troops),
You are sincerely missed! Gardner, hurry up and heal. Ant, when the doc let’s you walk, can you also ride? Beautician, will we see your graceful style before Moab? Superman, stop sandbagging the beginner field and ride your true potential. Smiles, what happened? Don’t revert back to the Cats! Erin, you demoralized the majority of the field, any chance of a repeat soon? Bring Dennis.
In the event you’re curious where we went, here’s the link:
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=293543
The final piece of the Moab trip was completed last night with the reservation of the rental vehicles which is in only 42 days.
Nic
Blue Mountain 07/22/2009
Author Nic:
Morning BBs,
Jockey Hill 07/15/2009
Cronomer 07/08/2009
Author: Ryan
I can recap the part of the ride I attended...
It was an overall weak showing of bombers for Ralph's Crononimer epic.
Myself, the Banker, Alta, Frank, ROY, RacerX, The Cheery Plumber, Jill Smiles,
and Big Ring were all pumped to be stoked to ride the beautiful conomer, I feel
like there was another, but mad mikes second hand smoke is still floating around
in my cerabellum. It was also nice to know that without AntDog we would be
climbing all of the best downhills available. The plumber did not disapoint. We
started with some nice climbs, then some more climbing followed by one more
climb to the top. It was at the tower that we found the magical man of mystery
himself, the Mad one, Mike. After finishing a blunt and a quick pull from a keg
can we were off. Man I love Newburgh.
We took mad mikes downhill trail, for a few feet when both mike and frank
flatted. The plumber then regailed us with tales of Lance Armstrongs gay
relationship with some hollywoood film star. I eaven hear they ride bikes
together. A bunch of fully grown men riding bikes together deffinitly sounds gay
to me, but who am I to judge. After fixing some flats and finishing off with the
dreaded boulder roller we said goodby to our buzzed tour guide and headed off to
climb the 20 something sisters back to the tower. The plumber was extra cheery
as he easily cleaned each sister in the smallest possible gear. Big Ring tried
his best to make up for Ralphs lack of cog teath.
It was at this point I was stoked that the Jamis was back in action just in time
to participate in all of this friendly, or as Jill would put it, "testosterone
fueled" climbing action. Sweet. Back at the tower we decided to head out to the
traditional out and back. It was at this point that my lack of will power, and
lack of arm power, began to get old. The plumber though was still in great
spirits and a very tiny gear. ROY seemed to have his shorts on too tight as well
and started to dig into the cheery plumer after a branch sent him over the bars.
Unfortunate. It was at this point that I bailed to go hang with my injured
brother in arms.
The ride back to the car was quiet and the BC trail was unmaintained. Ahh, it
did bring me back to the glory years though... MEMORIES ((Wavy thought bubble))
Back at the car I decided to forgo the traditional pizza and picked up a Dinner
Bento Box from the japanese place in Beacon. Heresey! But teryaki salmon, spicy
tuna rolls, and miso soup were calling my name.
I have class next week so do some place I dont like, Jockey hill perhaps?
Author Eric:
Beacon 07/01/2009
Author: Nic
Morning everyone (except Geis),
If you’re out and about already you’ll notice the weather hasn’t improved much since last night’s typhoon. Dudes that was totally gnarly and thoroughly wet. Definitely one of those rides that were dictated by one psychotic soul after another (except Jill). If you were ready to brave the storm, nobody else was; if you weren’t ready to cross the river ahead, someone already was knee deep in it; if you thought there was no way we were doing Pros Only, you were dead wrong. Thanks to the Banker and his multi-hour stake out of the Scenic Hudson parking lot, we were all able to get a spot. While waiting for the crew to show, the ominous black cloud of death descended on Mt. Beacon and unleashed a fury of wind, rain and lightning. After what seemed to be an eternity and the untimely departure of Smiles, we braved the storm…why?? Because there was a rainbow on beacon that was calling our name. So much so, Gardner turned down the spin class for a Beacon venture with friends. As usual, he climbed with inhuman-like skill until he was thwarted by the raging wall of water 500 yards from typhoon lagoon and decided to wait for CB and I.
Superman led the ride with an additional 3 pounds of rotational weight from the rear of the pack, however the bike weighed enough for him to pedal through the torrential water crossing and survive….Calves wasn’t so successful! After reeling in his lung, we were off and riding in a mad dash of ego and pain. Thank you Pro-Rider for that brief and amusing challenge on the road to nowhere and to all the others for their patience while we gallivanted aimlessly. Yeah we were lost, but we were making phenomenal time! The attempt at the tower climb was futile and destined for another broken bomber so we opted out after a heroic display of awkwardness only Pro-Rider can perform and the ego-killer performance of superman on the first rock to the tower. Let it be known that once Gardner made a sprint up the rock face and disappeared there was much contemplation to continue the ride and just let him catch up. After the debate we were able to talk Guss out of leaving his friend to the elements and we did the honorable thing by waiting. Once we were going down, Guss was in much better spirits. Pros Only was an entertaining baby-head bonanza. Apparently Calves would have been able to clear the whole thing had CB not stopped right in front of him in a shriek of dismay at his lack of courage. The Plumber was happy to just guide his steed by hand as a preventative measure to keep any abrasions from adorning his magnificent ride. Alta, amazingly plugged along, happily grinning ear to ear just behind the pack. Apparently the abundant water was a steep contrast to her last 4 months in Moab…
Sadly, Racer X had to bow out of yesterdays fun to preserve his strength and health for the upcoming out-of-state race this Sunday and for the simple fact that one of his 4 stitches popped…oh the horror. He wouldn’t have much liked all of the rocks at beacon with that itchy trigger finger that caused his fall from grace. Way to go Sally!
After a brief experience of almost stuffing the front wheel and relying on a considerably weak broken arm, Gardner bailed, showered, watched some TV, sent some emails and met us at the parking lot as we were coming out. The descent was especially fun and oddly led by Calves until he opted out of the sharp left corner and let everyone else experience the pointy end of a spear on the way down. Thankfully, Superman took the lead with a nice line all the way down that I was able to follow and survive. Calves, CB and Pro-Rider decided to all choose the same single wheel width gap at the same time for an apparent eye-popping experience that surprisingly ended well as they were all present and accounted for at the parking lot. The many weekend adventures at Beacon with Ant and Kendra have clearly emboldened our Rookie of the Year and the only thing holding him back is the bike. Unfortunately, the only bloodshed of the night was had by ROY in a slow motion crash that really was nothing more than falling over at a stand still. He decided against a hospital visit for the skin graft and kept riding, further proving that Racer X is the only Wuss in the family. All of the fun came to an end with CB making an effort to win the race to the parking lot only to make the commonplace mistake “too much too soon”. We drafted, grabbed a few stragglers for the peloton and left the poor boy out of breath, crying foul, and disappointed in himself. A sad end to an otherwise respectable ride by the CB.
Antwon joined us for pizza for a bitter sweet reunion with the gang. Glad you came out…rest assured, Bombers heal quickly (except James) .
Next Ride is Cronomer. Yes folks, the Plumber finally won out since he has actually made every BB ride this year so we’ve reinstated his voting rights. I’m out for next week but if you still owe money for the jerseys please pay Manny.
http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=259679
Ninham 06/24/2009
Author: Nic
Stewart 06/17/2009
Author: Nic
What up Bombers?
Another day in paradise with plenty of rain, chilly temps and more on the way. Thankfully we were able to experience the only 3 hours of dry weather in the 20 day forecast. Stewart, the bath tub that it is, was able to harness all of the precipitation these past few weeks and made it damn near impossible to keep the white blur clean. In fact it was literally a shitty ride that had us cursing the horses and sacrificing deep breaths for fear of ingesting that soupy, black nastiness only Stewart can conjure up. The Gallop will be an adventure I’m sure this weekend.
Despite the Cry Baby being the only rider that praises Stewart, besides Eric of course but never shows, we had a surprisingly large turn out. The women represented with the long awaited return of Alta, the fashion designer Becky was back from Thailand and just happy to be riding again…even if it was MTA. Of course Jill Smiles was spinning along with us, but no longer smiles as much… a new name may be in the works! She brought along one of the northerners (a Fats guy). The Slow-Rider brought his posse again, making sure the direction debacle was avoided by hand delivering him to the destination this time. Remember that young guy, with the big mouth and heavy bike? Yeah the Greek. He showed last night too with all nine inches of travel. Unfortunately Stewart is to drops, hucks and jumps like a desert is to water and he was a bit dismayed at all of the peddling that was required. Youth doesn’t seem to be working in this guys favor other than an accelerated healing ability. Me thinks he may have spent too many Saturday mornings with Schoolhouse Rock than in the saddle but then again he may be too young to even know what I’m talking about. The Bazzano Boyz were there as usual, one all hype and no mustard; the other all mustard and crappy bike. Billy ate a derailleur which ended the mudfest prematurely…but he did get a pre-ride in (more on that later). Billy’s one of those riders that has the mud speckled face, big eyes and shit-eaten grin you turn to after a fun section for the high five so he was sorely missed by all for the remainder of the ride. Racer X on the other hand, is more like a gnat that offers the most outlandish bike maintenance methods known to man and sports the most comical attire that would embarrass a clown… love the knee highs! He’s the MTBR spokesman, WMBA public relations officer and all around race promoter that is compelled to text enough times about an event to make you think he was running it. Sorry I couldn’t make the Fat Tire Fest and the 17 “No” responses had no affect. Beacon Cycles was out on the new Uzzi and powered the beast quite well for a cross country ride. The myth, the urban legend, the yeti, AKA “Mountain Goat” had no sightings last night. Still curled up in the cab stalking the Darkhorse shop? The ride was at Stewart friend, did you forget? No Legacy Tom. We’ll have to accept a once-a-month appearance but at least he’s going to Moab. The Banker made it again with that hamster wheel cadence, cramped at the end but otherwise no drama. The Plumber went through the normal stages of leader, got tired, mid pack, ego infusion, back to front until he was totally derailed by Alta again. The two gossip hounds can’t keep a cadence or respectable pace when “catching up”. If you can count your spokes while riding, you’re just going too damn slow and we’re probably waiting on you. Note to Ralph: 29” wheels fly through the air just as good as 26”. Manny found his balls…you could too. Franky, can’t really say much Dude, you’re riding great. Definitely the stealth rider of the group although I heard you did a self-induced body throw over your front wheel last night…any witnesses?
So the big talk last night was the fact that half our group went out for the “Pre-Ride”. Yeah all the big egos went out thinking the normal ride wasn’t going to challenge them enough. Big, big mistake on many fronts. First, while Ant is a nice, low key guy, he’s a sick rider that few of us can rival. The look on Racer X was enough to say it all…REDLINE. Ant brought them back ready for pizza, not more riding. Pro-rider couldn’t breathe, the Banker came back carrying both of his small lungs, Racer X kept having his eyes roll back in his head all the while, Antwon coasted in with a “Yup, it’s muddy” and a smirk that said, “yup, they’re done, mission accomplished”. In the future ya wannabes, reserve a pre-ride for a place like Blue or Ninham that has bailout points and conserve your limited strength for the “Ride”. All in all it was a good night.
Next Ride: Ninham. Likely an ice skating rink so bring your game or just ride Stewart with Dark Horse.
We’re told the Beautician will make an appearance a week after next at Beacon so come out for the reunion tour.
The Jersey order will be finalized today so here’s the run down. Make corrections with me or suffer with either a dress or stuffed sausage look. I need $60 by next Wednesday.
The techno-wizard forgot to turn on the GPS so the ride stats are lost on this one. However, if you’re interested in the profile of the parking lot you’re welcome to take a look: http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=244540
Response: Manny
Blue Mountain 06/10/2009
Author: Manny
Hello Bombers,
So just when nic and I were thinking no one cares about the recap we were proved
wrong. it's amazing what happens when you guys don't get your fix! One text,
three phone calls and four or five email's to the complaint dept. Sorry I don't
have a nice office job where I can close the door, put my feet up on the desk,
grab a cup of coffee and recreate the previous night's mahem. Just remember
that's your tax money at work. But now that I'm home and comfortable, Lets go!
So the night began on a down note when our leader Nic (let's face it, if some
one has to be our leader who better. Does anyone else want this responsibilty?) was
unable to attend because he had to spend the night showing Alta all the pretty
flowers he planted while she was having fun in Moab. It got worse when Pro Rider
kept looking at his watch and getting phone updates from his lost friend who
managed to find everything called Blue Mountain except the parking lot. It was
decided to do a short warm up while we waited but R.O.Y and Antwon decided to
warm up for the drinking after riding by downing a few brews on the tailgate of
my truck. We did the VERY tame lap only to see Pro Rider emerge from the woods
bleeding and mumbling something about "Twama on the Twail" Twama on the Twail"!
While this was going on Racer X was sitting cross legged on the ground in a very
Budha esque pose seemingly healing his bike with only the power of his mind
(more to follow on this). As you know Bomber protocol calls for a 6:00 pm sharp
departure but we decided to give the new guy some time. However Grumpy Plumber
reared his head and annonced we were departing NOW, so it was up to Pro Rider
with his considerable trail finding skills to find us.
The ride mood got better as we got underway with a lot of friendly (for us)
bantering and for a while things were back to normal. Since we got a late start
we did the fun inner loop and we were astonished to here somewhere in the
distance the unmistakable sound of the Periwinkle one yelling "Buddy?" in a
desperate attempt to locate us. It was debated whether we should ride the other
way quickly but was decided the continued opportunity to rag on him was too good
to pass up. Once he found us he quickly forgot about his late friend and left
him to fend for himself at the back of the pack.
Speaking of the back of the pack,The goat and myself have vacated that area for
new ground up front which led to a very angry Jill no smiles to rip into Calves
when she arrived at the end of Medusa with Kevin's two responsibilities in tow
for not waiting at the intersection for her. After taking the verbal shot to the
gut, Calves stood there and asked to no one in particular "there's a turnoff on
Medusa?"
Remember that Budha pose James got into to repair his bike? yea not so good.
Rumor has it the searchers looking for the black boxes from that plane crash in
the Atlantic were on their way up the coast because the pinging from his bike
was so loud. It thankfully stopped when his crank arm fell off. Still gonna sign
up for a race with that Bike shop's name next to the Bombers?
The Grumpy Plumber, after about a dozen rides we know about and who knows how
many he sneaks in with Dark Horse still can't seem to get comfortable on the big
wheel . He did finally figure out if he moves the back of the bike six inches,
he can close his tailgate. He may be in need of a session with Dr. Nick, Bike
Therapist. I can highly recommend him.
Franky Frank had the line of the night that had everyone in tears. Unfortunatly
we can't repeat it here in a family recap. He also must have been feeling horny
because he was quick to mount his favorite target Calves as he laid on his back
with his legs spread seemingly saying "hey sailor,want a ride?"
Good luck to whoever gets to room with Frank in Moab!
Legacy Tom was in attendance and seemed to be horrified by what he had started.
So much so that he seemed to be oozing his disapproval on several occasions. At
least we think it was dissaproval. It could have been his lunch. Whatever it
was, it brought back memories of the smell that wouldn't go away from last
week.
It was decided that after last weeks late night we would call it early and go
enjoy our favorite pizza place. The Hawaiian was given one last chance and came
through with flying colors. Pro Rider, who usually brings some of Canada's
finest beer, sprung for some exciting Budwiser. Woo Hoo!!
The Battle with Dark Horse may be on as Calves blocked up their parking lot with
his UPS big rig and let them know all about us getting Jerseys and how our Moab
trip will be so much better than theirs!
Next week is Stewart. 207 side so we can do the race loop if we are not banned
from the race. Early registration for the 40 by the way. No race day signup's
The Details..... http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=237464
Hope this gets you guys off the ledge,
We get to welcome back Alta Next week so everyone on your best behavior!
C.B
Response: Nic
What the hell Calves? I miss 2 rides over the past 2 years and you just
"happen" to leave the back of the pack and become the "goat" on both of 'em? I'm
beginning to think the Goat is a bit like Big Foot, an urban legend, mythical
creature that's never been photographed. Kudos on the Dark Horse digs, but just
make sure he lets us race. Don't tag his shop window just yet.
Leader Manny? Are you serious? That would require a semblance of responsibility.
The Bombers have evolved into somewhat of a chaotic anarchy. I'm just like the
rest of us, there for me Dude sorry. Got sick of the whimpering so I took you to
find your balls; mission accomplished, glad you finally enjoyed a ride.
Apparently my premonition was right, A and B team to follow: Bombers ready to
ride at 6, late friends and family get to chase the A group. If leadership is
open for debate, I nominate James. LOL
Sorry I missed you guys, see you at Stewart. Jill, should've given him a cup
check...there IS a turn off on Medusa. Whattadik. Ha
Nic
PS. Given time, I knew Manny would embrace the Cry Baby tag...nice touch with
the initials.
BTW, you worked a full day finally in how many years and you pull the tax payer
card?
Ringwood 06/03/2009
Author: Nic
Morning has come way too early after the journey to Ringwood last night. As it’s no surprise to anyone, this ride was a disaster to all in attendance. Racer X may have just experienced his last group ride on home turf. Truly a disappointing experience to be somewhat honest. For those of you all comfy and cozy at home, you chose wisely. We put James in the front to lead and it all went to his head. Just because you’re in front doesn’t mean you are the fastest; it was by design and we all gave you your much needed space. Your hamster rendition up the hills was particularly humorous and we thank you for the spectacle. Yes RacerX out in front and his posse in tow with play by play directions of every obstacle coming up whether 5 feet or 500 ahead, we got all the details. Just when one blabber mouth clamps down the pie hole, another always seems to crop up out of the woodwork. We have a name for this one…Vapor trail, and it’s not for his speed on wheels. One more ride and the claws come out so be prepared for some typical Bomber Beatdown.
Might as well get this one out in the beginning. Seems the Banker isn’t the only mediocre rider that gets disappointed when he doesn’t make the recap. Calves what do you want me to say? Would you like to spoon feed me all the amazing details of your stellar performance or should I just adlib? Calves rides like his rear brake is fully applied…Calves rides like he got tips from the Wal-mart sales rep in the toy department…Calves, “If all is under control, you’re riding too slow”! Kudos for summoning all your strength to give the “green light” each time you let us rest for 15 minutes or so waiting to collect you back into the group. Sorry so harsh, we are all very appreciative that you scour the trail behind us looking for anything we may have dropped..thanks friend.
Rest assured everyone, Manny has been reconfigured. After many hours at Blue Sunday, he finally got through his demons, found his balls and rode the stuff that frightened him into the whimpering mouse we have been subjected to these past several rides. We had a close brush with disaster as the Cry Baby lost his rear brake maybe 4 or 5 seconds into the ride. I was sure a tantrum was about to emerge but the heckling would have been unbearable so he resisted. The creature of habit had to realize there is a primary stopping device on his left grip called the front brake. It’s a good thing he snapped out of the funk and had the mandatory fun we were shoving down his throat because I would have resorted to just unclipping the Blur on the thruway and just be done with the misery all together. Maybe just maybe you have to maintain the working condition of all the components to ensure the are reliable each ride. That f’ed up freehub body, bent in caliper mount and 1990 derailleur are kinda holding ya back friend. Ya may wanna have ProRider take a look.
Contributing to the misery was the fact James didn’t tell us it was going to be a rain ride. The rocks were slick, the roots were made of Teflon and the mud was completely ruining my white Santa Cruz. However, this combination and a brief instruction that the drop could be rolled led to the best Canadian bounce of the season. Although I don’t think anything will rival Alta’s tumble at Ninham, this was a giggle-fest nonetheless. First drop…a bit too slow, second drop…saucer eyes and a panic stricken effort to PULL UP! Didn’t work. Cart wheel, bike attached and a lost visor left us with our doubts that this guy may not really be a Pro. He has finally come to terms with the mid-pack status and is embracing it well.
Single Speed Mike, visiting from West Virginia came out and rode his new, of all things, single speed. The guys at Bike Depot saw him coming and roped him into the deal he couldn’t refuse or at least wouldn’t let go of his ankles. Having a Moab participant back in our midst just led to some reminiscing and good laughs at the expense of others. Franky didn’t much care for Ringwoods rock gardens and was a bit disgruntled for the majority of the ride. However, I’m thinking that it was just because no rider went down and he couldn’t pounce. The hero of the night was the Banker, although not for his skill. A small tree decided it’s current placement in the trail was inadequate and jumped into the rear wheel spokes and dismembered his derailleur from the rest of his ride. Amidst the despair, he puffed out his chest, pulled out his super hero card and a new hanger materialized out of the camelback. With a quick turnaround we were back on the trail and searching out Racer X for the mutiny. All the down-hilling with Ant and Kendra is transforming ROY. The bike works finally and down is where it’s at for the Rookie. Stay out of his way, he’s a madman. Sadly Guss did not ride with us last night…I know, not really a significant aspect since he NEVER rides with us anymore…Looser (See Kev, it’s still funny).
Manny was actually smiling and at least gave the slight impression he had fun. The Banker was beside himself with pride for his recovery. Racer X was a beaming light and starting to talk in the third person about his own awesomeness. ProRider just kept rubbing his melon and trying to shake the cobwebs. ROY was just so F**kin happy. Mike really didn’t know what to make of the experience and will have to come back for the Ninham ride. Calves will not let anyone refer to him with anything other than his alias. Franky was happy it was over. The Plumber??? I almost forgot…new paragraph!
The plumber, Ralphy-Boy, Dark horse closet rider, entered the single speed race this past weekend. Only one he called??? Calves, the one guy guaranteed not to show for support. If any of the event pictures have him donned in Dark Horse attire, we’ll be sure to get it on the web site for the typical ridicule and bad mouthing. At least this ride was good for one thing, Ralph and Ritchie were able to get all caught up as the long lost friends that they are. The Mary Poppins riders barely stopped gossiping until the parking lot was in sight. Was it the race that the Plumber was recovering from? Was it the box of donuts Calves was recovering from? No friends, this was a desperate outcry for an intervention. These two riders are trying way to hard to emulate the Dark Horse group and may soon commit biker suicide by joining them. Please, please reach out to these poor lost souls and try bringing them back. Ralph, the 29er is bringin you down man, come back to the beloved standard. Calves, the diet is not working dude, eat what makes you happy bitch.
For the record, I may have fabricated small portions of the ride’s events. It was fun. Next ride Blue Mountain Preserve. Jersey print should be ready by Friday according to Verge, which I’ll send out when I get it. James bought the beer and therefore was not a total failure. Pizza was awesome. http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=230653
PS. You can’t go back to racing beginner class James, have fun at the Gallop. BTW warn your buddy that he smells…really bad!
Billy, great idea for the hot fudge Sundays on the ride home!
JILL, send this to Mike.
Nic
Response: Manny
Hey, could I offer a few alternate titles for the recap, "Ringwood: James's last chance", "Ringwood: better then that F*** up ride last year" or "Ringwood: did something die on the side of this trail?" Seriously, now we know where James gets his wardrobe ideas from. Speaking of that, if you are gonna keep wearing that Under Armour shirt we are going to have to change your name to Sausage X. Please dear god cover up! No wonder why the girls have been avoiding us like sandbaggers to soap. I have to come to the rescue of my buddy Calves. With my unfortunate turn of events forcing me to the back of the pack I was able to see why he enjoys it so much. You get to see the Banker ride with his seat so low he looks like one of those clown's that ride the 6" bikes on the Circus, you also get to hear the Plumber fight with his pedals and say things like "oops, slipped in to Granny, might as well keep it there". And while we're on the subject of those two, they were so deep into bonding they didn't even notice me and Calves pass them with a textbook perfect pass Pro Rider would have been proud of! I really think something died on that trail.......
Response: Ryan
That may have been the harshest wed recap ever... I'll stay at spin class where its safe.
Response: Kendra
I agree; that was scathing! These days people should be grateful if they're left out of the recap!
Response: Richie
Nick keep up with the good work..... I enjoy the verbal abuse..
Manny thanks for sticking up for me..... I might have to take a ride over to
Golds to check out the cardio theater and meet up with the bionic boy wonder for
a training seminar... 97 days till hibernation.... see you all at blue next
week.....
Cavles
Response: Frank
Damn...BRUTAL !!
Response: Ryan
I am thinking that we are all going to have to show for a ride at Gold’s…. once the Jersey’s are complete.
Response: James
Response: Manny
Well well, looks like we found the formula to get you people off the sidelines and back into the game. If brutal is what it takes to get you closet readers to respond then so be it! James, as the unofficial whipping boy lately i'm sorry to inform you that you will have to shoulder the majority of the load. Think of it as a kind of hazing. Speaking of haze, I can't wash that stink out of my bike. What WAS that???? Jill we know you are reading this even though you try to play it off like you read them IF you have the time!
Response: Eric
Response: Kevin
James... what does clairvoyant mean?
Prorider
Response:
Frank
Its a chic, clair voiant, She's canadian
Response: James
Response: Richie
U guys r retarded new ride and new poop talk tomorrow..... And more x factors from racer x
Response: Kevin
Thanks James, I see the light.
Pro Rider
Blue Mountain 05/27/2009
Author: Nic
Morning BBs,
It was no rain ride but it was still a lot of fun. We actually stayed with the plan for the epic ride and committed. With a spin through the interior and a secret entrance into “my favorite trail” the traditional ride was extended considerably. Back at the parking lot we unloaded our baggage (Franky Frank and Calves), donned the lights and headed back out to Depew Park. Wrap up was around 10; beer and burgers at the bar ensued.
For those of you that have absolutely no clue where we are at any given point, follow along on the Blue Map that Racer X has posted to the web. Ant has the whole first part dialed in with a grind up “Yang” that ends at the top of “Limbo” where “SIS” (Manny’s Run) starts. This is the fast section that goes across the double track to “Upper SIS” and down through “Criss Cross”. Following the “Summit trail” up an unpublished trail and down “Stinger”. Sneaking into “My Favorite Trail” across the road into “Rocky Glen”, around the pond to “2 Live Crew”. At the parking lot we went back to traditional through “Depew Park” and out the “Dickey Brook Trail”. Check out the link, as we were all over the mountain: http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=222777
On a dismal note, this ride was just under 10 miles and felt like 20. For the X riders, we climbed 1600 feet and unfortunately if your into down, the descent was almost equal but essentially unnoticeable as they are always over way too quick.
…….This is the point where Gardner chimed in with his own recap; hopefully you got it and can share in his enthusiasm for static fitness. Apparently he is swinging the metal clad broken arm around like it was good as new. Maybe this egotistical hero can summon the strength to perform a few mouse clicks to finalize the jersey graphics before the winter.
Racer X, who seems to have a professional opinion on just about every aspect of mountain biking was in rare form with his new Posse in tow. He rivals Pro-Rider in extremely loud, belligerent fashion. The poor new riders are unfortunately getting subjected to the Bike Mag regurgitation we are all becoming accustom. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s riding pretty well but definitely not enough to support the Know-it-all extremism continuously dribbling out of his gaping maw. Calves was in attendance performing his usual back of the pack sandbagging. Watching the big guy whimpering like a beat puppy at the rock face was classic and a repeat from the last time we were at Blue. Next time, bring your friends for the hat trick as there is no way he will be able to summon the courage until Manny does. Two new guys joined the gang, first one flatted then the other. The plumber can’t decide which personality he likes best so the jury’s out on whether he’s looking to encourage you or find a flaw for future bantering. In his own words, “there’s not an evil bone in my body” had Ant and I almost falling off the bike.
Manny needs an attitude adjustment. Maybe a quick spin around Stewart with George will bring him around and realize that mountain biking is still fun despite his “issues”.
A note on this past weekend: Awesome! The Open rocked and a large drunkin following of Bombers was prevalent and on video. It was a mini-Moab. We should really do more events together as good times are had by all. Keep up the tagging as some of the recounts are hilarious as in tagging a beautiful team truck to the dismay of the team, then to have it tagged again at the restaurant…way to go Guss.
Ringwood next week. Directions: http://www.beaconbombers.com/ This is the Racer X redemption ride. Don’t be scared away by the distance; car pool. Ringwood has a lot of really good trails and hearsay says James and Calves have found something better than a quadruple out and back.
Smiles, Erin and Dennis, hope you can come out and play.
Kris and Alta, we understand your absence. You’re excused.
Racer X, better give the ride a once over before bringing the angry mob. This is your ride, don’t Fkitup!
Cry baby, no chance of duckin out, your drivin with me.
Banker, how was the board meeting? Excuses are called the x-factor, it’s how James got his nickname. Its time to drop them.
ROY needs a new cassette, fork, and derailleur to be a viable threat, anybody got any extra parts for him?
Guss you puss get out and ride….
103 days till Moab…..
Nic
Response: Frank
Wow,you left out all the exciting ventures of pro rider.oh the things you miss being at the front of the pack nick,like him goin over the bars on the rock section or the half hour lecture to the new guy on what a puss he is for racing begginer or how he finally shared his feelings with antwon on...well...ask antwon. and I must share how he and I got intament while he changed his weekly blown tire (I pitched-he cought)
Response: Kevin
Hey I wanted to let every one know the that the video was a great
sucess. I shot 45 minutes of my front tire! Next time I will adjust the lens up
a little.
Pro Rider
Response: Nic
I never said there couldn't be contributing editors! The s**t
Pro-Rider says and does can support his own blog. The gang can only take so
much. Besides I've been told the recap is too long anyway. Personally I think
Pro-Rider should be called Slow-Rider and is rapidly degrading the group. Maybe
he should conserve some of the verbal banter and concentrate on breathing for
better performance. This was once known as a fast group, no wonder Gardner, Guss
and Erin want nothing to do with us anymore. Thank you for your contribution,
I'll keep it under advisement that I need to be more in tune with the mid-pack
antics, keeping them from being front pack riders. PR always shares his feelings
and last night was no different...maybe if he'd stop the women may just start to
ride with us again, ya think? Your intimacy with the Canadian was all visual and
couldn't be duplicated in verse so I left it alone.
Manny and I had a sit down. He'll be in a much better mood next ride. Come out
and let me introduce you to the old Manny. I will no longer be referring to him
as a Cry Baby; his wife is embarrassed and it hurts his feelings.
Response: Manny
Yea, Pro Rider can really share those feelings alright, as someone
who heard them I can attest to the fact that only he could pull that off! Kudos
to Racer X, he got his pilots license and begun to take off into the air. By the
way if any of you that were there last night came cross my balls please let me
know, I seem to have misplaced them somewhere near the top of the double rock
drops. Don't confuse them with Ritchie's, he dropped his at the bottom of the
first rock. See Dr. Nick the first stage of healing is being able to laugh at
oneself ! Look out Ringwood
C.B
Response: Ryan
It seems that the years of Wednesday night bashing are starting to catch up with people. I know I for one have some deep seated emotional scars from my first years of group riding.
Response: Eric
Gold's 05/27/2009
Author: Ryan
First Wednesday back at group ride and everything went really well. I got started a little late around 7:00 but with no pressure to be on time and without that pesky reliance on sunlight to ride, it was ok. I as a little bummed when I realized that I would be watching Evan All Mighty at the cardio theater but, hey, what can you do? I dialed in the "cross country" mode on my sweet new static 7000 training rig, and began to crank away. It was clear from the beginning that the rest of the group did not come with Wednesday in mind as my trash talking from the front of the pack was not appreciated, especially by stair master guy. Too bad, he sucks. Fat elliptical girl had a strong showing with her cadence of one rotation per minute. I led the pack as usual despite several attempts by some dude on the treadmill, he obviously did not know I was a bomber despite my downhill shorts and full face helmet. People at Gold's are really judgmental! Anyway, 11 miles and 35 minutes later it was all over. Sick ride!! Its good to be back.
Response: Erin
Ryan. Awesome.
Response: Anthony
Hey Ryan, where are you riding next Wednesday ?
I don't feel like driving an hour.
Anthony
Response: Ryan
Probably going for the fitness test setting at Golds. They should be playing
another family rated movie too. Fat elliptical girl probably will bail so it
would be sweet to have some company.
The Bionic Man
Response: Manny
Response: Ryan
There are lots of static 7000's to go around, if not you might have to fight
fat elliptical girl for her spot.
Ninham 05/20/2009
Author: Nic
It was warm, dry and Ant was on time. Sometime last week it was determined that we would ride the tower trail but nobody could figure out whom this was to benefit. With much persistence the Plumber was insistent and therefore the scapegoat for anything that may have gone awry as we headed across the street. For those that haven’t ridden the “other side” of Ninham, and those that couldn’t remember riding it, there is A LOT of elevation and not the kind that makes a jersey flap in the wind. Up, yes Up, with the occasional 10 foot reprieve. Pro-Rider, of little help as usual, portrays the image that he has somewhat of a recollection of the trail system, only to lead us so far left that the tower was eventually gained from the opposite side. What this meant to the bomber crew was an additional, never ending, beacon simulation of a carriage road. Thankfully there were rewards soon to be had. Completely disgusted and not wanting any more to do with the debacle, Ant rode ahead to get away from the Mary Poppins, small ring ridin Plumber. When the tower came into view the collective sigh was deafening. The cavalry dismounted and swarmed the tower in true tourist fashion, complete with the cry baby whining for his camera still at the base far below. The disgruntlement was abundantly clear as Racer X finally cleared the last obstacle to join the crew already picnicking and chiding his slow ascent to the top. Unfortunately the ensuing potty mouth continued pretty much for the duration of the ride. The descent has never been known to disappoint and this ride was no different as there was plenty to play on and much to the satisfaction of Ant, who turned the frown upside down.
Without his partner in crime, it was a one-man show as the spectators gathered to witness the feats of dare devilish style on all the gaps. Gardner, by the way is going under the knife today and will come away with some foreign metal accessories to assist in patching his arm back together. The Dude’s really nervous and not really all that coherent as all this “roadie” gibberish keeps coming out. He’s actually excited to road ride….yes, Ryan Gardner is going to road ride. More or less it will be a clown at a circus type style with the telltale flat pedals, domed helmet and laundry bag adornments that belie his true skill. So in your travels keep a keen eye out and try not to crash as you rubberneck in disbelief, thinking that you may have just witnessed a down-hiller on a rigid, wearing plaid and Vans on asphalt. So the first lip was a bit vertical and gave Ant that saucer-eyes look as he drifted slightly right with an elevated front wheel. After that reality check, all the others were child’s play and the envious crowd simply imagined it were them in the air landing what seemed to be all too easy. Heck, after watching the second one, Racer X was ready for a back flip. But seeing as how Gardner broke his arm doing the very same thing he was resolved to just stick with the bunny hops over twigs until he could muster up some more skill. If only Calves was there to massage his ego we may have gotten a woohoo off maybe a 6 incher. Sorry to say though, Calves was a no-show. The Twinkies, Ho-hos and cream puffs were a factor I’m sure. So the descent ended without incident and a lot of satisfied contestants after having endured the grind to hell. Whoa…almost forgot…Franky. Yes the sleeper is out of the cave. Passed the Plumber with ease and the extra abdominal weight is clearly an advantage when the wheel points down. I’m sure the carpool home had a bit of awkward silence as the Plumber may be realizing he may need to abandon his beloved small ring and praise his prodigy.
Cruizing across the parking lot into one of the traditional sections started my misery as I blew the bead off the rim not once but twice. Wearing about 5 ounces of Stans was like being tarred and feathered as everything on the trail was attracted to the slimy mess. The attempt at tubeless is not going in the right direction and has led to much frustration. Antwon should be dubbed the “Mother Hen”. The responsible, parent-like behavior is a bit disturbing coming from a 26 year old. I though maybe it was just a passing phase after Moab but clearly it’s an embedded attribute. Try as we might to get ourselves to the point of desperation with no lights and go the “fun” way, Ant guided the group through the trails that got us out with daylight to spare. Was it concern, was it responsible, was it down right abnormal for this group? The food factor played a big part as Ant was ready for pizza at the parking lot.
Check out the stats of the ride: http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=214233
Blue next week for an Epic. BRING LIGHTS. The interior is the goal with a Monster finish.
Gardner and I are getting together early next week to tweak the graphics and hopefully get them to print at Verge. The goal is to have them in 2 weeks.
Tailgate at Diablo on Sunday. Join the BBQ and festivities as we watch our fellow Bombers compete in the Open. Racer X is determined to do an early morning ride if any takers.
Racer X is putting the finishing touches on the Ringwood loop. There was mention that Ringwood may follow Blue…be prepared.
No crashes. No injuries. No estrogen. Glimpses of the old Ralph emerged slightly. Franks back pain sympathy is waning. Cry Baby still only has one leg. Pro-Rider is slipping to mid-pack status. ROY is moving up to expert following the next race. Racer X wants to go back down to beginner but NORBA won’t let him, so he is quitting racing for good and taking up Golf. The Banker, who gets really upset when he doesn’t make the recap doesn’t ride enough to qualify.
Nic
Response: Eric
Jockey Hill 05/13/2009
Author: Nic
Before we go down the reminiscent path of last night’s ride, there is a critical issue to ponder. Our franchise rider is out. Yes, Karma has reared its ugly head once again and cursed the unsuspecting, ignorant soul. Many of you caught just a brief glimpse of backlash from Gardiner, who went kicking and screaming upon the decision of Jockey Hill last week. He even had the nuts to attempt a venue change AFTER the pizza council. Unfortunately this resulted in a rather disappointing turn of events as Mr. Gardner (desk job now) has ruined his shoulder on the Cold Spring White trail at a time when he could have been whooping it up on the JH rock gardens with the rest of his gang. I must admit there was a bit of solemn concern initially, but as you know the group, that all ended when “Dude’s goin to Moab Now” was shouted out to Antwon while he was trying to muffle the laughter on the phone. All the pictures will be posted on the web to be sure, as well as, our techno-wonder, Cry b….Manny has captured all of the paparazzi images for your viewing pleasure. On a serious note, when you read this Gardner, glad you just got insurance and hope you aren’t feeling too crappy.
JH, always turns into a fun ride playing in the rock gardens and narrowness. I’m on my best behavior today, having made a pact with the devil, as a result of some much needed Bomber assistance in obtaining my new bike and parts for the ride last night. So if your waiting for the Manny Chronicles, sorry to disappoint but consider this a rerun week and wait until next weeks new episode. Manny, still somewhat injured with a glaring back malady has not quite returned to true riding form. Hard to believe I know. With the mockery from the Plumber in front and I on his wheel, it was pretty much all he could handle and let’s just say the stress had a good grasp on our buddy.
Rider of the week: Franky Frank. Yes folks, he’s back from the dead and riding like he means it…or at least preparing for Moab (He doesn’t want to go shopping with Ryan). Dude was on his game last night.
The Plumber was allowed to lead the last half of the ride under close supervision (Hey banishment can’t last forever). No out and back, no bushwhacking, no river crossings, just a quick pace through the trees playing hide and seek with Manny. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the Ralphy Boy of old seems to have left the group for good and been replaced with a better attitude and seemingly nice demeanor…the true test will be when Geis comes back and gets him goin again. For the most part he has left the grumpiness home with the wife (sorry Sharon) and quickly follows a chiding remark with a bit of encouragement and good natured compliment. It’s a bit nauseating but preferable to the old guy.
ROY. What can we say about ROY? Pretty much the same thing every week…needs another fork leg, should really push it a little harder and maybe step outside the box and go really fast once in a while. Ohhh sorry, aside from the fork comment I was referring to his brother Ringwood Joe. This week instead of waiting 2 hours for calves and racer x they opted for Jersey again. Just think everyone, with about eleven more rides, they may just figure out a loop for the gang to take a road trip. Racer X has been goaded into getting out of sand bag mode and attempt Sport at Tymor this weekend. This unraveling was done by Manny after succumbing to a similar test of ego by his wife for a bi-athalon that he surprisingly got out of doing. RX sorry to report but Sport does the hill….twice. Try not to suck. The family may come out for some spectating so represent this time. Back to ROY, he’s also been suckered into Sport but much more enthusiastic I might add. The aforementioned Gardner, who would have probably won this race will NOT be participating. Please pass this on to his ever growing entourage (namely his ego).
Smiles was team estrogen again. Always the regular and always consistent. Probably the safest driver you ever had the pleasure of driving behind and just as cautious on the trail. Smiles is always ready with the green light and never knowing where she is going; somewhat similar to periwinkle. She’s pretty much a rogue and has some misguided loyalties or really just too nice in not making fun of everyone like the rest of us.
Upcoming news: Tymor this Sunday. Manny, James, and Billy are racing.
Moab in 119 days.
Alta, Kris, Erin, Dennis, Jamie, Guss, Kendra, Eric, Ritchie, Gardner, Antwon, and Kevin…you were missed. James, jury’s out on your bomber status; more to follow after the race Sunday.
Response: Kendra
I missed you, too, Nic! You left out some other upcoming news: Diablo's
first DH race is also this weekend--since Ryan is having adamantium upgrades
installed, I'm going to pick up the slack and race with Becky, Anthony, and Gus.
Hopefully some other bombers will show up to scream at us and ring cowbells or
something, since that's usually my job. See you sunday in Vernon!
~Kendra
Response: Manny
909 05/06/2009
Author: Nic
Another record breaker last night…15. Lot’s ‘O fun was had by all on this one. Started with a pre-ride (Ant, Nic and Jamie) in an attempt at the race loop, but unlike Pro-Rider, Ant will actually admit that he has no idea where he is or where he’s going. Unfortunately the caliber of these riders was enough to keep me Red Lined the entire loop that I briefly contemplated sleeping in the truck until it was time for Pizza.
Next was the wait for the dopey dudes who can’t decide whether to ride Stewart by themselves or come out with the group. By the time they were in agreement, the arrival time was set for a 40 minute late departure so we decided to ride the loop across the street in the mean time. Fortunately the crash test dummies arrived at the moment we emerged from the woods. James and Calves were as jovial as ever and continued to waste our time with their attempts at funny wit and banter that always seems to fall on deaf ears. Honestly it’s really just their way of delaying the inevitable of showing off their mediocre skill and moderate enthusiasm for the back of the pack hierarchy. James, (Racer X) took a lot of abuse as usual and managed to get a new nickname. Again, a meager attempt at riding but for the most part held his own unless of course Erin (Rock Star) was behind him. Racer X cannot function or put together a line when being challenged by the courteous one. In fact, the Rock Star was having her way with the majority of the group which earned her the new title. A bit too much on the polite side for a Bomber but it may just be a ploy as the ever-comical, rapid deterioration of skill when under leader stress is forced upon the victim by being allowed to pass. It’s actually working quite well for her as the majority of the sand baggers won’t even start peddling now until she has already jumped in line. Calves played the same old cards, a Mary Poppins leisurely stroll a half mile back behind the pack. Ironically upon reaching the group he would give the “Green Light” in a rested, calm sort of way that belies his efforts of actually mountain biking. Still waiting for the “Goat”, but you will all have to be patient as there really is no hope in sight of Calves dropping enough weight to be a viable threat to anyone’s ego…even you Racer X. Nice muffin top Calves…
Pro-Rider, never to be out done, continued to waste valuable energy by being the loudest of the group. Given the fact that we are actually “poaching” the preserve, it may just be a matter of time before we are run out of the place by season’s end. Thankfully we don’t ride there on a consecutive basis nor let him lead anymore.
Gardner, our newest Expert Rider and spandex killer, will be getting custom sponsorship by Jamis. The new bike we have already dubbed as the RG will undoubtedly go through some punishment in the coming race season. Much to his dismay, please venture out to our crappy web site and get a small pic and video of him sleeping on the trail at the Waywayanda race. As everybody knows when doing something out of character, big brother or someone always seems to be watching. In this case it was the Bomber poser, Racer X who sandbagged the race until the last 100 yards for a stellar 8th place beginner finish and had the nerve to get a pic sporting a horn. I’m with Manny, no jersey until sport class. Speaking of jerseys, we’re just about set for the final print. Once Ryan and I get Verge to lay it out we’ll send the prototype out for viewing and a spell check by the Beautician. No mistake, I said viewing, input stage is over.
Prosthetic Joe made an admirable effort last night and tried relentlessly for the sympathy of the group to factor in his numb leg for the cause of his performance. For those of you perplexed by the newest AKA, Manny had a bout with his back that pinched a nerve, making his leg go numb for a few days. The credit goes to him for at least showing up, but alas, he has finally realized the benefit of sand bagging a ride to feel fresh and new at the end. The Plumber has nothing on him now. Don’t be surprised if the group divides into A and B groups by June….As you all saw the witty email by our friend concerning my new bike and stealing the thunder of being able to describe it’s awesomeness 14 times over, I cannot make fun of the I-Phone anymore. In fact below is the newest addition of technology that will possibly make the web site by August. http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=199287
The Banker got off his a$$, quite literally, and started his training for Moab. Sporting what looked like a brand new bike or more correctly, hardly ridden ride, he came out to rekindle the friendships that ended so long ago…Moab to be exact. At least calves had the honesty to call it hibernation. The banker simply says, see you next week. That week was precisely 207 days long….welcome back.
Although I was not privy to the conversation, my silent episode compilation team informs me that Jill Smiles has adopted a new name “cougar”. The mind can only wander to figure out the correlation between “Smiles” and a feline depiction. More to follow I’m sure. Billy Boy is goin to MOAB. Unlike his now really sad brother, he decided to get another job to avoid being left behind. Not only is he going, we’re putting him on a Nomad. Yes folks a Nomad. If you thought he hated that fork that is missing a leg and phantom shifting companion before, just wait until September. Jamie was successful in keeping the Kiss-of-death at bay and broke out the new 29er. He’s not as gaga as the Plumber but definitely managed the big wheel in racer style. Ed was my hero in bringing my replacement frame and joined the festivities in his quiet demeanor. Dennis (yet to be named) rode hard until all strength had left the legs and quite commendably made the periwinkle look good. Rock Star was affectionately at his side as the two of them consoled each other praying for the end of the hills. Having been her first ride in the preserve, she slipped into that hilarious question of “is this the last hill”? Now everyone knows there is no way to answer this question without giggling.
Even though we did not ride the nemesis trail of Racer X, he did manage to remain awake for the entire ride. The name card was thankfully not needed and 911 was not utilized…despite all of us at the ready. The question came up concerning the uncertainty of who is who when referring to the rider’s AKA. Please do not settle for speculation, this ruins the joke…you must respond back for clarification. Anonymity will be observed. These recaps, in my unbiased opinion, are highly accurate, devoid of sarcasm and ridicule. They are for the sole benefit of spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends and significant others who read them in secrecy. Nobody cares how well you did or how bad you sucked, the idea is to capture the essence of the ride on paper so that loser Webmaster can try and download it to the web site. By the way James, if you commit to Moab, it will make the rental car issue easier so how about taking one for the team and just bring your worthless abilities to Utah? Franky, I’m trying to stay positive but your time is comin. Great job, glad the back is almost a non-factor.
Blue Mountain 04/30/2009
Author: Nic
BB Crew,
Blue did it again by luring everyone out of the wood work. It wasn’t exactly the Hurricane Ride but we did have a total count of 18. Calves made it out finally and contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t the fat bastard we all envisioned and even managed to retain some skill through the hibernation. More surprising, Tommy, the guy who started it all, came out on the single speed and tooled around with the gang and managed to stay for pizza and beer. Ed and Scott, AKA “New Guys” came out and showed off some skill but were quiet for the most part despite the uproar of the crowd. Erin finally showed up, the ever courteous allowing anyone behind her to pass; primarily to keep the tailgaters at bay (myself included). The girl’s got some skill and should really engage with the rambunctious fools attempting a challenge. She was even able to convince Dennis to demonstrate some cool antics on Periwinkle II. Supposedly there was some apprehension but unlike the Pro-Rider who passes that blue thing off as the greatest ride known to man, Dennis had the appropriate decal of “Test Bike” plastered on the head tube. Since we had success in dealing with the stickers, the consensus is we get a few “Demo Junk” decals for the Canadian to affix to that thing.
The Canadian actually deserves his own paragraph, considering I could probably fill this whole recap with his antics but I’ll be reserved for just the notable points. That self-proclaimed “Pro-rider” is actually becoming funnier than the ever-popular periwinkle because of how absurd it sounds. With a riding style that closely resembles a dump truck trying to finesse it’s way through the mall parking lot at 30 miles an hour, it’s a toss up for what makes more noise; the bike or the Canadian vocals. Honestly man, how many times can you get a pinch flat in the same location without taking out a lessons learned. Then in total Canadian hoopla style, proceed to change the tube in record time only to blow a threaded CO2 into the atmosphere. This thankless wonder even had the gall to blame poor Manny for the crappy inflator that was leant to him. Folks this is true camaraderie at it’s finest. This guy also did not manage to make a new friend last night as he broke the long standing rule of actually touching another rider’s bike with his well-honed kiss of death (KOD) ability. Jaime who may never ride with us again after experiencing the sickening sound of a popping shifter cable as Pro-Rider (LOL) gingerly grabbed the cable with brute-like force to completely mess up this guy’s bike. Guss the other recipient of his KOD skill, tried in earnest to warn the ill-fated lad but alas he was mere seconds too late to preserve the integrity of the bike and Jaime had to ride out in the small ring by himself. If someone out there can reach out and offer our condolences, we may lure him back into the group and vow a ring of protection from the IBM Barbeque Master on subsequent rides.
Quote of the night “I got rubber legs, they just won’t go”. Ironically this proclamation was spewed at the first obstacle, on the first trail, in the first few minutes of the ride. Yes folks it was Manny. Never to disappoint, we had the musical sound of Homer Simpson’s, “Doh” at nearly every obstacle and a “Hell no” at the rock face of death, or as Manny would like me to depict the severity of the incline. It was truly a sad moment watching my friend on top of that slick rock whimpering like Calves at the base of a moderately sized hill. No amount of coaxing would lure the poor soul into a commitment he was confident would not end in favorable results, despite the ridiculously soft roll out. Come to think of it, Calves had some strong support and the ego to go with it only to bail himself. For the others who walked around the monolith, it largely went unnoticed and you are welcome to laugh at the failures of these two without repercussion. Although the cry baby isn’t quite up to Moab form, he is one of the technological geniuses of the group with that I-Phone. Along with being the other Moab coordinator, he managed to round up some software that will GPS track our rides and affix them to a google earth image along with pictures and video along the ride. Check out an example: http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=61061
Thanks to all who paid up for the stickers that went out last night. Eric, I still have one more set if you or anybody is interested in getting more. Calves and the Plumber split a set. I gotta tell you, upon receiving these things I had to giggle for a bit imagining these things plastered all over the place and the reaction it will cause when one of us comes upon one. I sized up most riders with the jerseys from Verge Sports so here’s the deal. For the lack of initiative, Manny coaxed me into at least get something started. The custom jersey will cost $60. Attached is the design I would like to work with. If you are not interested, you do not have to buy one and if you have a more appealing design, I encourage any of you to take the reins and work with the company to produce something for all of us. Criticism is welcome but graphic solutions are more helpful….Calves you were fired as promotions manager so I’ll take your suggestions under advisement but don’t expect me to get all accommodating and reassuring….I really don’t give a crap. For those of you that don’t often peruse the web site, please take a look periodically, James has actually gotten off his ass and produced something somewhat respectable although I wouldn’t call it amazing, but at least it’s something. www.beaconbombers.com He also archives all the recaps and bantering.
Speaking of the bike mechanic extraordinaire, you’ll be happy to know he is exhibiting some progress. Of course this is not in the mechanical department, let’s not get crazy although the ground affect style shop light has actually been a success. Baby James is competing in the Waywayanda race and geared to sputter around the 9-mile course. No worries mates, the jerseys are probably not going to be ready so have no fear about getting a bad rap with this joker sporting the Bomber attire. We may even have to check the time chart to see if he’s worthy. The other Bazzano has some lofty goals as well, although they largely consist of hops & barley along with attaining the perfectly charred sirloin. On a serious note….well nothing to report, ROY made a small challenge but hardly worth repeating. Franky is the sleeper of the group as he is slowly but consistently making his way through the pack. Don’t get spooked when you see this out of shape wonder huffing behind you or aimlessly hogging the trail in front of you. It’s all by design and his adopted Moab regimen that drives this old man through the forest. Gardner you were sorely missed and for those of you that may not know it was this demented gentleman that was the mastermind behind the “Bathroom Sign”. Ant was particularly solemn after the departure of Jaime as he had a lonely ride WAY out in front without you. He was in a particularly better mood, possibly because he held the group’s destiny in his hands as the leader of this ride. Although there was a mild discontent with the masses at the beginning, let me remind you that Ant chose the more moderate route as the plan consisted of a bit more elevation had he not displayed the apparition of leadership. Great job dude, no complaints except for Kevin and Ralph who took your monster and my favorite trail intent seriously. The dust and pollen were particularly fun in a wheezing, hacking sort of way but seemingly out of your control. The ride went though all of the interior and a spur of the moment connector trail down the rock face aforementioned, which was great fun for all…except Manny.
Next Ride: 909. Poaching the preserve. Although last ride here resulted in a mind-boggling descent to the parking lot…don’t get your hopes up. Pro-Rider is not leading, no worries. In the words of Antwon, “a ride that actually starts at 6 would be a whole different story”. Gardner, lets try not to be tardy okay professor? The banker was absent, but that was to be expected. Ya know those people that always say I’ll start my fitness routine tomorrow…
Last but not least, Beacon Cycle Tom was there to lend a hand in the navigation and Jill Smiles was, well, smiling…
Kendra, Ant would not let me pick a jersey size for fear of repercussions so you’re going to have to bail on school or haircuts at some point in the near future!
In an honest effort and prevention tactic to not getting called out by the cry baby in the next email…I fell. Yes, I fell down the rock face made famous by Geisman and the scar on Ralph’s shin. It was a hop on one leg at the crest and inevitable tumble in a heap but I did not let it extract all my confidence and instill the fear of getting dirty like some of us have experienced.
Later all, give me a heads up on the jerseys when you get a chance. If you’re in Newburgh, call me and you can try it on.
Guss sucked! What a waste of youth and 19 inches of travel. (He hasn’t been reading the recaps).
Nic
132 days till Moab. 75 days till Geis. 39 days till Alta. 21 days till Calves rides again. 6 days till 909. An eternity till James becomes a real mountain biker.
Stewart 04/22/2009
Author: Nic
Response: Geis
It is good to see at least my bike made it for a ride. Nic, push those gears in Blue next week! Don’t just take a single speed to MTA. See you all in Moab; ironically from one desert to another
Response: Manny
Ninham 04/15/2009
Author: Manny
Hello fellow Bombers, both
present and MIA,
Let me begin by explaining the current state of affairs at Bombers H.Q. Our
fearless scribe Nic has taken it upon himself to have four day weekends the last
two weeks and as a result of that coupled with the fact he can manage to buy
every accessory ever even remotely associated with a Chevy truck but does not
have a computer at home OR an iPhone he can not put his wit to use other than to
heckle me by phone for not be a good understudy! Now normally I would not mind
the task of setting the record straight and giving those in Foreign lands and
those closer who cannot attend a detailed account of the fun it is being a
Bomber but unfortunately I am in the midst of construction of The Great Wall of
My Kids Playground and have had a hard time finding the time to be witty and
awake long enough to do this right. But after being chastised by a certain two
individuals I have taken it upon my self to wake @ 6:00 AM on a Saturday no less
to satisfy the angry masses!
So you waited and here it is:
Billy abandoned his ritual of a pre ride beer probably because he was laughing
too much at his brother who holding a very informative class on bicycle
maintenance with topics like proper rotation of brake pads and turning your
chain around to use the often neglected other side! James also showed he means
business by shedding his Ralph (Granny) ring and getting a bash guard AND a
chain guide to which Anthony said " You got THAT too !" Speaking of Antwon, he
and Jill just got done explaining how they narrowly escaped the ax at work when
Nic so thoughtfully asked him "so what's going on with my warranty at Trek dude"
A visibly shocked Antwon said he would get right on it as soon as people
stopped crying over the loss of their coworkers so he could hear the
conversation on the other end of the phone. Nic also got to break out believe it
or not his very own light! A early birthday present from halfway around the
world. Alta did Kris and Pro Rider a huge favor by getting him something he
needs instead of another device that will further sap the alternator in that fry
kitchen on wheels. once we got out of the parking lot and on to the trail things
sorted themselves out as usual with nothing of interest to note, all quite, no
anger issues to speak of....
After a nearly three hour ride we descended on our Pizza stop and woke up the
staff to order two pies only to find that two wasn't gonna cut it and had to
order a backup. We also decided to add the website address to the decals and
there was some discussion of adding a bike to it so as not to give it the feel
of in the words of my wife " it looks like a bathroom sign, I don't get it, you
guys are weird". James said he would try to give us an example of that but if
Ryan can get off the ventilator maybe he can edit it so we can make a decision
and get them ordered. Also Pro Rider in a way that only he can asked if the
skirt of the female Bomber could be shortened a little to reveal more leg. I
know, we were speechless too.
Anyway we will be descending on Stewart this week (Baron rd side) for a big ring
extravaganza so if you haven't made it out yet now is the time to ease the pain
of that first ride!
Here's hoping Nic can work a full week and I can get off the hot seat!
Manny
Response: Little Ryan
I feel like I was there….thanks Manny.
909 4/8/2009
Author: Manny
So here it goes, First off I must apologize for the delay. There were some pressing mental health issues I needed to address and with the help of R.O.Y (Billy) they were resolved. Who knew he could figure out how to make a trench level and restore my sanity with one five hour house call! Anyway from what I remember we went to 909 and got out before midnight, Frank made his first appearence of the season, Anthony still thinks it's January,Pro Rider ran out of gas, Billy went for a dip in a stream and Nic T-boned my perfect ride up pond gut. By the way why is it that everyone can get us out of every other place but when it comes to 909 there is actual joy when we find our way out in less than an hour of our planned exit time? Rumor has it that the Webmaster may show up at Ninham this week! Hope it's warm enough that the paintball jersey and Army surplus long johns stay in the car! Better late than never! Manny
Author: Nic Morning Bombers, Wondering what has happened to all the sarcastic mayhem in the ride recaps? MR. RELIABLE MAN has turned out to be a dud. Yes Manny has been so distraught and confused on how to lay a base for his retaining wall that all other mind consumption projects have come to a halt. This includes taking care of the recap in my absence for which I thought he was fully capable. BIG, big mistake. In fact after talking at length her Majesty Perillo, turns out the cry baby isn't so reliable or capable for that matter on a more frequent basis than we were led to believe. So Ralph, rest assured I did not misplace your email or get it wrong by failing to send you the weekly banter. Nobody got it...thanks Manny, you're the best! So where were we? 2 weeks ago, despite some decent enthusiasm for 909, the rain and 43 degree weather deterred all of us. Maybe when the lungs come back and we're all fully into the riding season foul weather may not be such an issue. Unfortunately this caused a large gap in exercise for the Pro-Rider who upon his return to the acres was a bit winded. Yes, we did not abandon the Pleasant valley excursion, we actually had a good turn out of the old and decrepit...well Franky Franky anyway with that really cool back spasm thing. Ryan was able to show at the last possible second with the Subaru on 2 wheels on Tyrell. I think this had to be the most amazing 909 ride EVER...only for the simple fact that as Ryan puts it, "We rode on a Wednesday and actually went down hill"! Not only did we go down hill, but we went down hill at the end. As much as we all made our wishes known in the beginning that under no circumstances was Kevin to lead the ride. We had strict intentions of exiting before sunrise and pizza was a must. Unbelievably, when the outcome was getting bleak, more than one person suggested we rely on, of all people, Pro-Rider! Laughably, while picking a definitive direction, only to turn around, that Canadian not only headed down hill, but directly to the parking lot. How in the hell after 11 years of riding could I have missed that??? Never in anyone's wildest dreams did we ever think that down hill led to the parking lot. This friends is probably not going to be duplicated so next ride at the acres....pack a lunch. There's no telling how much over-zealous (that was for you Geisman) confidence and ego will result in a pro-rider lead. Back to MRM. Clearly frustrated and easily derailed with every turn. No, not just the logs this time. There may not be a tire out there that can compensate for the lack of skill on some of the non-Stewart terrain. However, you gotta love the determination of Manny. Apparently his skill is going up by his own account and continually refers to his "18-minute" ascent of Beacon. Well I'm here to tell ya, Wednesday rides last a bit longer friend. Really nothing else to report...Ant almost wore the down jacket to combat the cold but decided on cool factor. ROY (rookie of the year) downed a beer for the ride and still pulled off a great show. Ralph still on his "Niceness" high and willing to give all a compliment throughout; no Rally Rock mind you but eager to share his thoughts and comments nonetheless. Loved the "Blubber" comment! Ryan still proves biker clothing is a thing of the past and the "race bike" works anywhere. It was an estrogen-free ride. NINHAM next week for a Gardner sponsored event. Guss, you may want to come out for this one. Ladies welcome, including James. Nic
Response: Alta
I may be bias, but I'm more partial to Nic's version:
Response: Big Ryan
Alta Nice footer in your emails.. For office use only! We should probably
make one of those up for all of our Beacon Bomber related sensitive
information. How is everything going? when are you getting back? Ryan
Response: Alta
You like that? It's all a pretense. I've really been vacationing at Moab for the last two months, riding every trail that ever existed. You won't even recognize me when I get back and am riding with all of you again. It'll be me at the top of every hill, laughing and talking as if I've been there for 20 minutes, waiting for the rest of you to catch up. Miss you all tons. Take care and I'll see you sometime mid June. Alta Girl Power!
Response: Geis
Alta, that is funny I have been here at Moab for the last 100 days and
have yet to see you. Which hills are your referring too...Maybe we should
hook up on one of those hills rides. After all I do have my 50 pound
Mongoose ready for any adventure. Geisman out